Friday, June 27, 2008

On Russia Blowing The Semi-Finals In The European Football Cup

Excerpt from Instant Message Conversation:

1:53:05 AM] English Teacher X says: My condolences on your humiliating defeat as a nation

[1:54:31 AM] Supernatasha says: havent you learnt in these 7+ years that joking about defeats is possible only the next morning the earliest... No wonder you get beaten up so often

[1:54:50 AM] English Teacher X says: yeah, but it's already the next morning, sweetheart
[1:54:56 AM] English Teacher X says: that's why I get beaten up so often

[1:55:37 AM] English Teacher X says: and when we get beaten, we joke about it immediately.

As English Teacher Q once said: God only gives people any taste of success so that it will be that much more painful when they eventually fail.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Prosperity = Fat Chicks

Went to our former favorite cheap nightclub the other week, which in years past was always like an explosion at the Blonde Slut factory.

That time it was about 70 percent metrosexual males in striped t-shirts and 30 percent fat chicks.

For this I left Bugtussle?

(Photo is of vomit on the floor outside the toilet stall.)

Sunday, June 01, 2008

T.a.t.u you

Yeah, there was a time -- hell, quite a while ago now, 2002 and 2003 -- when my kitchen on any givn Saturday night was full of drunk teenage Russian girls drinking vodka and making out with each other while we listened to Tatu.

(All those girls are like married to Turkish guys now, though.)

'Round about that time, I went back to America and was trying to tell one of my friends in America about Tatu; while Googling them, I saw they were about to release an album in English for international distribution. A couple of fake lesbian 16 year olds who sing like a couple of cats in a sack? Obviously a license to print money!

My friend thought it was the stupidest thing he'd ever seen in his life. I bet him a bottle of vodka that they'd be in heavy rotation on MTV by the end of the year -- as it happened, the video for "All The Things She Said" started playing heavily on MTV the very first week of the next year, so I lost the bet.

They quickly fizzled out, though, even in Russia -- they lost Eurovision a few years ago, failed to sell any seats at a Wembley concert, and quickly went the reality show route.

But take a look at THIS abomination.

The book upon which it is based as written by a Russian politician,