Sunday, October 11, 2009

The Man, The Myth. . .

Pity poor English Teacher KSM. A long-time fan of the website, he offered an interview back in 2006 that pretty much indicated he was giving up TEFL teaching altogether.

However, he did not do so -- like any bad habit, TEFL teaching is easier to start than to stop -- and he contacted me after I made my announcement that I was coming to The Kingdom.

Turns out that we're working in the same city here, in fact.

Now he's been in Persian Gulf countries for most of the last nine years; we're about the same age and the amount of time I've devoted to more-or-less complete debauchery, he's devoted to getting well-paying, professional TEFL jobs with major international defense contractors and such.

He lives in a large villa in a secure compound and has a big company SUV he drives (although he shares it with another guy); I live in a efficiency apartment in the faculty dormitory, and I drive a bicycle. (His job pays better, but we get three times as much holiday and work rather fewer hours.)

He's totally envious of my life to this point -- he missed out on the squalid debauchery, pointless womanizing, and retarded drunkeness. He knows a lot of those ETX stories by heart.

And then when he finally gets to hang out with the English Teacher X of fable and lore -- is The Legend getting wasted and chasing 19-year-old Russian trollops?

Indeed, no, he's ordering the double cheeseburger and an iced tea at Applebee's.

Then we wandered around the old city, and I gleefully shopped for $10 shirts at the cheap Southeast-asian clothing emporium, as he looked on somewhat bewildered. He can't really even be entertained by my stories because he knows most of them already.

ETX in action baby. Look at my works, ye mighty, and despair!

The old English Teacher X Website is now permanently down, or at least down until I get around to putting it back up, but I have linked to it via the internet archive known as the Wayback Machine. Ain't technology wonderful.

11 comments:

You're joking said...

Though I've never actually commented on your posts, I've been lurking around your blog for a while.

I do have a question for you. How long do you suspect you'll be able to withstand living in the Kingdom before bailing and heading back to some exciting land of pointless debauchery? I mean seriously, is money enough to make living bearable in a place with so stifling an environment? Seriously, stifling heat and a degree of conservatism that would make any Bible-beating Southerner wince?

ate_the_paint said...

Well, englishteacherx, I've been following your blog for a year now and I am teaching English in Russia. You have a natural talent for writing and the transition you describe from Russia to 'The Kingdom' is fantastic!

In all truth I work for the same company you did (but in a different city) and if I get fired for this post then so be it...nothing will change the fact that I am hooked on your blog!

If you are missing the Russian lifestyle at all then let me know and I will help you out; right now I'm pissed on two bottles of vodka and I have two "academic hours" of classes to teach to really hot Russian 20-somethings tomorrow around 17:00...

You know what I mean. I probably shoudn't be commenting on your blog in the state I'm in but I can't help myself. In my opinion, you have the most interesting site on the entire internet!

Za Sdroviya!

English Teacher X said...

Dear You're Joking

1) For the length of a two year contract

2) Yes

P. S. I suspect you're living somewhere boring yourself, and hating it. Too bad for you. I debauched in Russia for nine solid years, for most of my adult life, so I'm taking a break. And counting my money.

English Teacher X said...

I should add that a two-year contract will entail about 18 months of actual work, and more than 6 months of paid vacation. . .

You're joking said...

Yep. Living in a very, very boring place right now. Looking for an ESL job in Russia as we speak.

RoboFish said...

I see all the closet fans are coming out so I might aswell make an appearance.

Your old site and this blog is the absolute dog bollocks; one of the hidden gems of the web which really shouldn't be left to die.

I have some webspace if you want somewhere to park your old stuff. I forgot to cancel my free trial for a webhost, and whilst I was abroad searching for work I was billed half my budget for some '2 year unlimiated plan' I didn't even want.

Would be a fitting fate if I could help out the site which inspired me to give 'teaching' abroad another shot after it crashed down last time around.

Jon D. Ayres said...

Interesting, blog I will have to look closer at it, I have a blog along the same lines called, American in Russia http://jondayres.blogspot.com/

stevie austin said...

Jon D. Ayres - -i had a quick read of your blog and i don't think its anything along the same lines as X's.

In 2 paragraphs about western men hoping to sleep with russian women, you called them "losers" 11 times and "clowns" twice. I'm only guessing but i think you may have some kind of repressed envy etc,.

People are a fan of the X because his blog is without moral ornamentation and his experiences are striking.

Not that i'm criticzing your blog so much, but as someone who has also spent many years in many different countries, both working and interacting with the locals, one of my peeves is the self-righteous moralists.

Chris said...

I agree with Steve Austin. And, from your own description, you claim to have left the US due to the bickering between republicans and democrats.

Then, elsewhere on the same page, you make a reference that you support free speech because your not a "liberal socialist democrat" or something along those lines. And then there is a pic of that bloated nationalist elephant the republicans use as their mascot. So, it turn out that you are fine with, and even encourage, political polarization. You have no desire to get away from it. Not that I give a shit either way, but you seem to be a bit conflicted.

X's writing and commentary is refined and well defined. I do encourage you to read through his archives though. They're fun to read. Also, please fuck some Russian girls. They like it.

stevie austin said...

here's another blog i'd recommend for funny readings

www.puffmatty.com

good laughs

jesterpr said...

You know, ETX, if you jumped ship from a cool ESL country before you were middle-aged, you might have had regrets. I certainly couldnt handle the return to the crap world of professional health school after one year in Asia as a young man. It's always something I think about, the less safe, but infinitely more fun path.