Wednesday, April 04, 2012
Some Advice for the Modern Sex Tourist
Okay, I think I got kicked out of that Pickup Artist / Penisphere / He Man Woman Haters Club, but I still occasionally get these emails asking, "Do you think it's still possible for me to go abroad and get laid a lot?"
First of all -- anybody can bang as many foreign women as they want, in whatever country they happen to live in.
They're called hookers. They've been around since the dawn of humanity, and in my opinion are a great way for you to see if you REALLY want to live a lifestyle built solely around casual fornication. I've seen plenty of divorced / starting fresh guys who get to the cruddy shithole of their choice and find it to be a miserable and depressing experience.
So my advice: go bang a few good-looking foreign hookers first, see how you feel. Go to Vegas or Amsterdam and fuck away!
Believe me, it will be cheaper than starting anew in some other country, and probably more enjoyable than whatever drunk single mom you manage to drag home from the nightclub in Crapistan.
Many are called, few are chosen!
I clearly laid out numerous reasons why sex tourism isn't what it used to be, in my last book HOW TO SURVIVE LIVING ABROAD, and in this aritcle GREED IS GOOD
So if you've absorbed all this -- take some specific advice from a seasoned veteran.
Most importantly -- find someplace you HAVEN'T heard a lot of people talking about on the internet.
Russia, Ukraine, Brazil, Thailand -- they're big countries, and undoubtedly full of beautiful women, but if you're really looking for a skewed playing field, you're going to have to find a new place. Those places are done, used up like your drunk sorority girl sister at 3 a.m. after the gang bang.
Now I realize I'm breaking my own rule here, simply by mentioning them -- but let me suggest a few you rarely hear anything about:
Moldova -- poorest country in Europe. Maybe they're desperate enough even for your sorry ass!
Ethiopia / The Sudan -- mass starvation = easy lays! And you KNOW they're skinny!
Georgia in the FSU -- like half the men got killed by the Russians during the 90s and early 00s. Gender imbalance is your best friend! And what's a mustache or two, the women are HOT!
Mexico -- plenty of widows and orphans thanks to massacres by narcoterrorist drug gangs! Get in there quick before they emigrate to the US to work at Wal-Mart!
North Korea -- difficult to get in, okay, but talk about DESPERATE for foreign rod! Those chicks must be GAGGING for it! And soon to be gagging ON it! Maybe you could get a job with a humanitarian food agency, or the CIA!
Libya / Iraq -- Overthrown dictators equals poon tang, baby! Find surviving female family members of executed political prisoners for a SURE thing!
Now of course -- dude, it's all about what I like to call "lifestyle sculpting." You need to shape your life so that the endless obsessive thirst for foreign poon is the CENTER of your life, not the fucking vague outer boundaries.
English teaching? Scuba diving instructor? Boring. Dead end.
And again -- is it foreign poon you want, or somehow deluding yourself that poverty and squalor of life abroad is more "pure" and "real"? I thought so -- foreign snatch is all you want.
So -- my next bit of advice:
Get a job as a guard at a woman's prison, or with ICE at a detention center for illegal immigrants.
A fucking captive audience of foreign women, and you KNOW they'll be hungry for some cock after being detained indefinitely in accordance with Patriot Act regulations. The end of the Penis Famine is here, sweet thang, so you just slip out of that Department of Corrections orange jumpsuit and open wide!
Failing that -- here's the best idea:
Try to travel backwards in time about fifteen years.
There's nothing in the law of physics preventing time travel, man. Think tachyons. Just like there's nothing in the laws of physics preventing you getting laid abroad.
Be careful out there guys. Good luck!