Those Damned Fellas Who Won't Fit In

Another promotional video, an emo-music-plus-holiday-snaps take on THE MEN WHO DON'T FIT IN, by Robert Service, which I used as an epigraph for my last memoir.

One of the few guys to make a fortune from poetry, Robert Service moved from his usual stomping grounds of Alaska to Paris, where he was known to stroll around the rough sections of town wearing a monocle with his former-cop bodyguard. The People's Poet indeed!

Catching Up With Crazy Bob

Recently caught up with Crazy Bob in the Emirates. 

So rest assured, the flags of English teacher degeneracy are still flying out there.

Video Killed the Radio Star

A couple years ago I made a few crude videos (look at my YouTube channel here) using Microsoft Movie Maker, and I had left the world with a bit of a cliffhanger, with a video that illustrated a sucky speaking activity and then telling people to tune in for an illustration of a speaking activity that didn't suck.

Then I just sort of forgot about it.

But a few commenters kept requesting the sequel, so I finally completed it:



I had been trying to get a friend of mine to do some voice acting for it, but that never worked out, and then I sort of just forgot about it as I worked on porn e-books and started working in my next shitty job in the kingdom.

But hey, my fans ask for something, I'll try to give it to them.

This was a sequel to this particular video:



In which you can hear my sexy dulcet voice, actually, which has occasionally been compared to Kermit the Frog.

(I've been invited to be on a couple of podcasts, but I was rather afraid my Kermit-voice might utterly ruin people's image of me, which is no doubt highly virile.)

And just for shits and giggles, here's a promo for my most recent book, REQUIEM FOR A VAGABOND:



Get it HERE on Amazon

Luckless, Part 2: The Lawsuit (Another Cautionary Tale)

As recounted in another post,  my former employers in the Kingdom were inclined to dismiss people with little warning and often little visible cause. I also shared with you the story of a luckless former colleague, and his sudden sacking, which occurred around the time I was leaving last July.

Imagine my surprise when I found he was still in the Kingdom, having hired lawyers to try to sue the contracting company he worked for.

This is a conversation that began in late November, 2014, and finished the last week of January this year. I present it as yet another cautionary tale.



11/29 11:35am
English Teacher X
I heard you were still in the Kingdom!

11/29 12:00am
English Teacher S
I'm sitting in (Redacted City in the Kingdom) waiting for my Dec 9 court hearing.
•
 11/29, 12:29am
English Teacher X
did you get another job somewhere?
• December 24, 2014

 12/24, 10:12pm
English Teacher S
newp
•
 12/24, 11:23pm
English Teacher X
is that not kind of like throwing good money after bad?
• January 23
•
 1/23, 4:19pm
English Teacher S
I don't really know what that means.
•
 1/23, 4:30pm
English Teacher X
just as well then
•
 1/23, 4:30pm
English Teacher S
I'm always happy to learn something new.
•
 1/23, 4:31pm
English Teacher X
well i mean are you using your own money to stay there?
isn't that going to just put you further in debt, even if you win?
•
 1/23, 4:32pm
English Teacher S
You think I'd have spent this long here if the settlement I'm fighting for wasn't going to cover things?
•
 1/23, 4:32pm
English Teacher X
well, i guess
•
 1/23, 4:33pm
English Teacher S
Is Peru everything I thought it would be?
•
 1/23, 4:33pm
English Teacher X
yeah, it was awesome and the galopogas islands were really great
gotta start thinking about employment again soon
•
 1/23, 4:34pm
English Teacher S
I'm over it.
•
 1/23, 4:34pm
English Teacher X
i'll be going to the TESOL Arabia conference in Dubai, it's in the middle of march
•
 1/23, 4:35pm
English Teacher S
I followed the guidelines of every school/administration/jackass who wanted me to teach kids to sing We Wish You a Merry Christmas for 15 years now. All it's gotten me is unfinished contracts.
If I were picking tomatoes in Cali, at least I could get some "meds" for my "back pain".
•
 1/23, 4:36pm
English Teacher X
heh heh, true enough
•
 1/23, 4:36pm
English Teacher S
and still be treated like a migrant tomato picker
•
 1/23, 4:36pm
English Teacher X
you gonna quit the life then?
•
 1/23, 4:38pm
English Teacher S
no idea
•
 1/23, 4:38pm
English Teacher X
probably too late to join the navy
•
 1/23, 4:38pm
English Teacher S
I don't wear white well.
•
 1/23, 4:40pm
English Teacher X
you're not cool enough to be a barrista
i guess it's got to be long-haul trucking
•

 1/23, 5:12pm
English Teacher X
is there a holiday because the king died?
•
 1/23, 5:12pm
English Teacher S
fuck if i know
i didnt know he had passed until i logged into fb
they're not tolling any bells or anything
•
 1/23, 5:13pm
English Teacher X
attempted coup in Yemen, that's more worriesome
•
 1/23, 5:14pm
English Teacher S
though, for a fri sermon, the imam's voice didn't sound as hateful and he kept things short and subdued compared tto his usual 45 rant which is usually easily confused with a michael vick kegger
45min*
I dont know. A new king.... shit could get cray-zee fast
•
 1/23, 5:16pm
English Teacher X
can't say I miss the place much
•
 1/23, 5:16pm
English Teacher S
I"m surprised to hear that.

•
 1/23, 5:17pm
English Teacher X
the price of gasoline is so low now, maybe that caused the king to die of a broken heart
•
 1/23, 5:17pm
English Teacher S
so why are you coming to tesol-con dubai?
the relationship of those two conditions might be closer than mentioning is comfortable
•
 1/23, 5:18pm
English Teacher X
i'll try for a decent job in the Emirates or Oman
•
 1/23, 5:18pm
English Teacher S
lol Saudi Lite.
•
 1/23, 5:19pm
English Teacher X
it's just too bad they pay 2 -3 times as much as any other country in the world
•
 1/23, 5:19pm
English Teacher S
sad thing is I actually like arabs for the most part...it's all the other fucks they hire that make it miserable
•
 1/23, 5:20pm
English Teacher X
although I hear you can make a decent living in parts of China now, being a communist country they pay teachers well
•
 1/23, 5:20pm
English Teacher S
i can do well without ever seeing another egyptian or filipino
•
 1/23, 5:20pm
English Teacher X
you didn't like the cute little filipinos?
•
 1/23, 5:22pm
English Teacher S

•
 1/23, 5:22pm
English Teacher S
dont trust 'em for a second
•
 1/23, 5:25pm
English Teacher X
trust no one
•
 1/23, 5:25pm
English Teacher S
I'm simply not equipped to get along in a world like that.
•
 1/23, 5:28pm
English Teacher X
a lot of the advice I hear for people going to prison are applicable there, also
don't get involved in too much stuff, do what you're told without comment, and find private ways to keep your sanity
•
 1/23, 5:43pm
English Teacher S
That is good advice. Unfortunately I am full of energy and curiosity, very expressive and always seeking to improve on things that are flawed, and let's face it, there is no privacy as long as You carry your Dick Tracy everywhere You go.
I'll put it on a post it on my door...see if it makes a difference to remind myself of it when I leave my sweet little hotel cell.
•
 1/23, 5:44pm
English Teacher X
http://www.lawcollective.org/article.php?id=48
Just Cause Law Collective : Going to Jail for the First Time
www.lawcollective.org
Don’t snitch. Snitches are not just unpopular—they’re unsafe. Don’t even refer to other prisoners when talking with correctional officers, because people will think you’re snitching or at least being manipulated by the officers. (The primary exception to this is that if you honestly believe you’re going to be raped…)
•
 1/23, 5:49pm
English Teacher S
Jesus, man. I'm not planning on going to jail. I haven't done anything wrong. What's with all the jail talk?
It's Isha.
Nice chatting with You.
Catch ya later
•
 1/23, 5:50pm
English Teacher X
ciao
•
 1/23, 5:50pm
English Teacher S
Seriously though...what's with all the jail talk?!
•
 1/23, 5:51pm
English Teacher X
http://www.wikihow.com/Deal-with-Being-in-Prison
as I said, it's good advice for the Kingdom
•
 1/23, 5:51pm
English Teacher S
Well it's a bit late for that.
take it easy, X
•
 1/23, 5:52pm
English Teacher X
salaam
Seen Jan 31



* * *

Given all the stuff about human trafficking in the news and the international courts recently, such a lawsuit is perhaps not nearly as hopeless as it might seem. I know my contractor was extremely paranoid about that sort of thing, with news stories about people being busted and fined for human trafficking on the bulletin boards of their office, and when I left provided me with very detailed paperwork showing that I'd been paid all the money I was owed and how the figures had been arrived at.

As far as suing schools in general, though, it can't really be recommended, as the lawyers you hire abroad are probably just as likely to rip you off as the language schools. (That was a big cottage industry in Korea.)

But I know a couple of people who have done it successfully, including one in Moscow, and I once used the threat of it to get a couple weeks salary from an employee in Thailand who dismissed me without much warning. 

Anybody else out there got any good lawsuit stories, drop me an e-mail or a comment.

Another Conversation about "Game"

Reviewing the Reviewers, Part 2: "Like A Bitter Shot of Poison to the Heart!"

I forgot to mention that my first memoir, TO TRAVEL HOPELESSLY, is available for FREE now.

Get it FREE on Amazon / FREE on Smashwords / Free on iBooks

Writing about your own life makes reading your reviews a rather tricky business; people are in many cases reviewing your life as much as they are your works. 

For the most part, the books have been well-received and well-considered by most of the people who have bothered to leave a review on Amazon. The reviews on Amazon UK are much more savage than the ones on Amazon US, though -- there are like three different people who say my books are "the worst book I've ever read!" (What a statistical anomaly!)

Recently a real confusingly WTF review got posted:  

So yeah, let me go ahead and just reveal my true identity. My real name is James Frey. 

(To the best of my knowledge, I don't know anybody who lives in Denmark, where that reviewer supposedly lives, nor can I think of anybody who might have written that.)

So just let me make a polite request: if you have read and liked my books, take a few minutes to leave a review on Amazon. 

If you DIDN'T like my books, then at least get your fucking facts straight before you review it. Don't complain that there's bad language, because I say that in the product description. The books may have some typos, but they ARE NOT full of grammatical errors.  If you say that I present a one-dimensional portrait of TEFL, please elaborate on where you are getting your information from. If you claim that you are a teacher and never had experiences like this, or met people like this, please tell me where you worked so I can apply there.

In fact, if you never met crazy people while teaching TEFL, odds are that YOU were the crazy one ...

(There was a review of my GUIDE TO TEACHING ENGLISH ABROAD that said it was "like a bitter shot of poison to the heart!"and if we look at all the other books this reviewer reviews, we see a lot of books about living with bipolar disorder.)