Toxic Vodka Syndrome

So everybody says, "Oh, wow, you live in Russia, must be a lot of good vodka there."

No. There isn't.

Vitually every nightclub sells not vodka but an incredibly toxic mix of methlyated spirit plus water. (If you're lucky you get ethylated spirit plus water, which is a bit better for you.) I suppose for the price (less than 50 cents) you can't complain -- unless you consider the many side effects, ranging from blindness to instant death, impotence and brain damage. Most of the vodka you buy at kiosks and a lot of the vodka you buy in supermarkets is the same shit -- spirit plus water, with distillation being only a distant dream.

We went to one of the better nightclubs in town last week and drank 2 shots of vodka apiece, which rendered us all violently ill, with puking in one other teacher's case and fever and extreme nausea in my case.

That's why we consider absinthe a safer option.