Monday, July 09, 2007

On Marriage

I'm 38 now, as has been mentioned, and as also mentioned, most Russian people, especially here in the provinces, get married when they're between 20 - 25. (They get divorced pretty soon after, usually, but never mind.)

People, especially women, always ask me why I'm not married, upon first meeting me.

I have a number of answers, depending on who asks me.

There's the funny answer:

"Well, nobody has asked me yet."

There are the flirtatious answers: "Well, is that a proposal, or are you just wondering?" or perhaps, "Well, I've been saving myself for you."

There's the standard line:

"I guess I haven't met the right girl yet."

and there's the honest answer:

"Well, I can be a pretty fucking difficult person sometimes."

Then there is what I think of as the "Bad Day" answer, usually reserved for particularly annoying girls or those who I find particularly impertinent.

My favorite Bad Day answer is to explain that I was married once, in my early twenties, but that my wife died in a car accident, after lingering in a coma for six months.

That usually shuts them up.

No, it's not true, admittedly, but it COULD have happened, it happened to at least one guy I went to high school with.

Even old friends occasionally get into this act. English Groupie J once said, who I'd known for several years, once said "You know, if I met a Russian man your age who had never been married, I would think there was something really wrong with him."

I replied, "And yet you've been fucking married rich guys for money since you were 15, and don't think there's anything at all wrong with that." (True, by the way.)

She looked at me.

"You Americans are so . . . unrealistic," she finally said.


Anonymous said...

Hey X,

I think one issue hasn't been dealt with in your recent barrage of hits on your blog. It's the female TEFLer who comes to a CIS country like Russia.

The trials and tribulations of watching her fat, old, bald, sweaty male collegues being treated like movie stars, banging gorgeous chicks while they die a slow, lonely and miserable death in obscurity.

Surely you must have a few stories and this topic does deserve it's own Post.

I'd write more, but since the Gap Kid thinks you're the best thing since fucking Shakespeare, I'll leave you with the honors. It'll make an interesting read.

English Teacher X said...

Frankly, I just haven't met that many female EFL teachers in general, and particularly in Russia.

And to put it bluntly, most of them were not exactly what you'd call supermodels. . . but I saw a couple of good looking ones while I was up there in Moscow on my DOS training, and I imagine they can get a few guys if they feel like it.

Check out -- some woman named Hannah Katz has a nightclub review column, and she bangs guys left and right.