Tuesday, March 03, 2009

Tips For Dealing With Russian Women


It only took me a few cases of being jerked around and fucked over by Russian girls before I quickly formulated a set of rules that would save my sanity and provide some perspective in dealing with them. I've honed them to a fine art in the past eight years, and as a service to my readers dreaming of the high-heeled, high-cheekboned low-life here, I offer them now:

ENGLISH TEACHER X'S TIPS FOR DEALING WITH RUSSIAN WOMEN:

1) Wait no longer than 20 minutes for someone you are not having sex with already, and no more than 30 minutes for someone you are having sex with. (This refers to the Russian trollop who is late without calling or sending a text; my advice is simply to go on your way immediately and not bother calling the girl. If she does call, at some point after the 20 minutes, finally, say something like, "Oh, wow, did we have a date tonight? I completely forgot." If she's properly apologetic, perhaps you can go back and meet her.)

2) If a Russian girl says, "I can't meet you tonight because I have a problem," it means she's going to meet one of her other boyfriends. In most cases, the fact that she offered an excuse at all, rather than just not showing up (see Rule 1), means she wouldn't mind seeing you again.

3) If a Russian girl says "maybe" when you ask her out, or says she'll call you later, she means no. If a Russian girl says "yes" when you ask her out, however, she sometimes means "maybe." (I refer you to rule number 1.) Oddly enough, Russian girls tend to do this after a couple of dates, and occasionally even after they have had sex with you.

4) The Oriental aspect to the Russian mentality means your are unlikely to get some kind of direct brush-off when a Russian girl tires of you. If you send a girl three text messages and she does not respond to any of them, no matter how well you thought you were getting along, or how much you might have enjoyed having sex with her, erase her number from your phone, never call her again, and stop thinking about her. If she calls you later and asks why you didn't call, say that you lost your phone or accidentally deleted her number.

5) If you take a girl out on three dates and don't even get a good-night kiss, you probably won't get anything out of her. Use your own judgment about taking her out for more dates.

6) You will pay for everything. All the time. And buy her friends drinks, too, if applicable.

7) Beware of all Russian girls, but particularly ones with mink coats.

10 comments:

Michael said...

So Russian women are basically the same as every other woman in the world? :)

Martin said...

I was about to say the same thing, I came up with these rules here in America. You didn't have to go to Russia for that!

James said...

Russian women are only and ever concerned with money and what they can get from you !

English Teacher X said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
English Teacher X said...

Those rules may apply, but American women are completely different. If you buy an American girl something, for example, they often wonder why you bought them something, and think you did it because you feel guilty about something.

No such thing with Russian girls -- keep the sushi and clothes rolling in and they're happy.

American girls are also inclined to cry after intercourse and tell you about their abusive stepfathers. I've seen very few Russian girls do this . . . although they have plenty of abusive stepfathers.

English Teacher X said...

Ah, and yeah, I knew I'd forgot one rule. I went back and stuck it in.

Martin said...

I am somewhat confused by the whole situation with Russian girls. I haven't met many, but the ones I did were the type teacher X described. That said, I have few female friends ( russian also) who can't believe I meet girls like that. I talked about it with them just to get their opinion ( and trust me, they have no reason to lie to me), and they say most russian women are not like that. Is it possible the ones that are interested in foreigners are the materialistic cunts?

nobdoy said...

The spoiled, selfish women we have here in the West behave exactly the same way.

Not worth bothering with, if you ask me.

Anonymous said...

In other words, they deserve to be humped and dumped.

Anonymous said...

what a useful post!
Thanks you gave me good tips with them! I was a bit lost ;)