Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Better Living Through Chemistry

I have a bad cough and a bit of a temperature ever since a sandstorm last week. I suppose the two are related.

Things which you CAN'T get in a normal Saudi pharmacy: aspirin and analgesics, anti-septics, and any kind of cough syrup or mouthwash other than herbal kinds.

Things which you CAN buy in a normal Saudi pharmacy, without a prescription: antibiotics, Prozac and other psychiatric drugs, human growth hormone, and all of the erectile drugs -- Viagra, Cialis, etc.

Before you ask, yeah, I tried it.

Smiley face. LOL. Impersonation of Austin Powers saying, "Yeah, baby."

It was a couple of years ago, actually, I had a student who was a pharmaceutical representative and she gave me some Cialis.

It turned out to be, when I actually think about, a clear case of my underlying hostility to women.

Long story short, I was going out with one girl and then after we broke up briefly started going out with one of her friends. During this period we did not have sex, as she was waiting to break up with her OTHER "sex partner" first.

Then I got mugged one evening walking home completely drunk at 4.00am, and sent her a text message the next morning about it and received one in return saying "Sweetie, what's the difference between Arab an Arabic?" It seems she was busy texting some Egyptian tour guide she met on a recent holiday.

(These brutal stories from the savage days of 2005 can be seen in my old blog here.)

As was my wont in those days, I insulted her in the most piercing ways I could think of and then refused to speak with her again.

But then I saw her a couple years ago at a nightclub and I finally deigned to speak to her again. We hooked up that night but drunkenly fell asleep; she came over a couple days later and I took some Cialis and had sex with her for the better part of three hours. I received a text message the next day saying, "Last night was wonderful! I can't stop smiling!" Hey, account settled!

For me it was okay, but not the best night of my life or anything. It's about like walking on the treadmill at the gym at 4 miles per hour -- mildly taxing and stimulating but you know you can do it for a long damn time.


stevie austin said...

7 hours baby! On 2 different occassions as well. No drugs either. I almost got a 3some out of it but fucked it up by being too blatant about it. Can't remember exactly what i said. still, win some, lose some.

English Teacher X said...

callin BS on that. You couldn't do any kind of continuous movement for 7 hours without getting cramps or stopping to drink something.

Unless you're talking about stopping and starting again after a fifteen minute rest or whatever. I'm not, i'm taking start to finish no breaks.

stevie austin said...

no BS but am including BJ's obviously, which could be considered a rest, and i may have returned the oral on one of the ladies, which also allows recovery time.

but sure as hell wasn't any sleeping or talking going on. there weren't any drinks on hand either.

shit even i'm starting to wonder if i really did it now. pretty sure though. will have to put my time to the test soon and see what i can manage 8 years on.

stevie austin said...

just to clarify. yours was 3 hours sex, no oral ? And no being on the bottom either ?

3 hours mish and doggy is one hell of a work out.

English Teacher X said...

well, you know, when I started thinking about it. . . there was some oral there. And I'm not even entirely sure I didn't take a sip from a bottle of beer near the bed occasionally. The point was that the hardon lasted nearly 3 solid hours.

stevie austin said...

hey fair enough, we're not machines. man needs a drink every now and then.

Anonymous said...

This conversation is very disturbing. I suspect one of you to digitally alter you faces on twisted photos and place them on chat-rooms.

Eve Lopez said...

This blog never fails to both shock and amuse me.