Spies Like Us

Probably you've all read about the seemingly bungling and incompetent group of Russians who were recently arrested as deep-cover agents and spies in America.



There's an interview in The Telegraph UK with the man who married the (kind of) hot young female spy Anna Kuschenko, who goes by her married name Anna Chapman.

Yet again, English teaching rears its scabby head:

By the time of the wedding in March 2002, Mr Chapman had quit his job in England and quickly found work as a private English tutor, thanks to his new bride.

“The funny thing about Anna was that she always seemed to know exactly where to go and exactly what to do, no matter what the circumstances,” he said.

“I suggested working as an English tutor, so she took me to an obscure building and pinned a notice on the wall and the next day I had 10 phone calls. I couldn’t quite work it out.”

I'm crapping my pants laughing here. . .

I don't know, she's okay, I'm sure I'd have taken her home if drunk, but I've seen better. (However, judging by this picture, which I find myself unable to copy and upload, she has a lovely rack.)

It's pretty obvious what happened here, before you go wondering why the Russian government would hire such an obviously dippy young girl, so completely unskilled in "spycraft" as to put "99 Fake Street" on a mobile phone contract and post pictures of herself and her real name and Russian roots on Facebook.

Her father is ex-KGB and currently a diplomat and clearly a high-up in that world. It probably wasn't as much a case of "Daddy, can I be a spy?" as it was of him using his contacts to put her on the payroll so the government could fund her dumbass shallow goofy SEX IN THE CITY lifestyle. (Although I notice, according to the article, government funding didn't stop her from hooking up with a 60-year-old New Jersey millionaire.)

And I have no doubt she'd screw you until your testicles imploded.

I seriously doubt this will end up a particularly unhappy ending for her -- she'll do a bit of time, maybe, or be deported, and end up in a reality show somewhere.

So, yeah, not bad, but she's no Xenia Onatopp.



(The pedantic English teacher in me feels obliged to point out that there is no female surname like Onatopp in Russia -- she'd be Onatopova, if anything.)