Saturday, February 25, 2012

More Free Stuff! (So, You Say You Want More Narratives. . .)

I'm so fucking cool that even my secret identity has a secret identity.

You see, back in the early 90's, English Teacher Q and I, during a lazy hazy druggy summer in America, collaborated on a series of action / horror stories. Kind of a deal where I'd write one paragraph, he'd write another while I was rolling the joint.

(Read an interview from 2002 with English Teacher Q from the old website)

Over the course of several months, we created our own little mythology.

The adventures concern a disparate group of psychics and hitmen recruited as government agents to fight paranormal menaces. This was actually a few years before THE X-FILES and BUFFY made this stuff pretty commonplace -- but we bring a particular drugged-out goofiness to it that makes it seem, now, like a good satire of that kind of thing.

I've always been pleased with the results; if you're a fan of THE VENTURE BROTHERS or any of that ADULT SWIM stuff, you'd probably like this.

So I transcribed some of them and wrapped them up nice in a bow, after the success of my other indie ebooks, and now I've made three of the books -- at less than 10,000 words, more like long short stories or novellas, actually -- available on Kindle Prime, and you can read them for free if you're an Amazon Prime member.

This one I entered into a free promotion and I think anybody with a Kindle can read it.

Halloween, 1986:

A hideous evil is lurking in America's heartland... and the Paranormal Activities Control Squad is powerless to stop it.

It started as a simple mission: investigate a war between a werewolf biker gang and a cult of voodoo drug dealers. Child's play for the rough-and-tumble psychics and hardcases from the PAC Squad.

But when several members of the PAC Squad find themselves captives of a crazed zealot, an ancient and unstoppable monstrosity is unleashed upon the parched earth... and even telekinesis and high-explosive rounds might not be able to stop it.

This is #7 in the electrifying adventures of the PAC Squad. Look for the other stories soon.

September 23, 1986 -- the Autumnal Equinox

One member of the Paranormal Activities Control Squad hasn't been acting like himself lately.

Because he's not.

An insidious evil has taken control of the one person that everyone trusts, and the PAC Squad finds itself attacked from within by a sinister and unstoppable killer who knows all of their secrets and all of their weaknesses.

One by one, the PAC Squad members fall; meanwhile, the very nation itself is under threat, as the blood supplies of a major hospital are infected with a deadly virus that threatens to transform the population into mindless undead bloodsucking freaks.

This autumnal equinox, the fate of the PAC Squad and the world hang in the balance. Spring forward, fall down and die...

This is #5 in the horrifying adventures of the PAC Squad. Look for the other stories soon.

March, 1989 --

A shape-changing protoplasmic mutant. A 9-year-old super-genius with astonishing telekinetic abilities. A man with cynbernetic eyes. A psychotic killer in an advanced biomechanical battle suit. A chair-shaped alien entity from a distant galaxy.

These and others have assembled - a small army of mutants and super-powered villains - with only one thing in common - a bloodthirsty lust to destroy the Paranormal Activities Control Squad.

But the plan to attack the PAC Squad Funpark headquarters has one flaw -- the PAC Squad aren't there. The Funpark stands empty, except for the crotchety and eccentric scientist Dr. Venerius, trying to get some desperately-needed quiet time.
As the assembled forces of evil attack, Venerius stands alone - alone except for his penetrating superior intellect, an arsenal of bizarre inventions, and the less than willing assistance of the two French sensitives Boudreaux and Lemamboue.

As the deadly contents of this crucible of blood come to a boil, a shocking secret stands to be revealed. . .if anyone survives.

Meanwhile, at their isolated mountain retreat, the other members of the PAC Squad, as usual, are having problems of their own . . .

This is #10 in the shattering adventures of the PAC Squad. Look for more adventures soon.

All this is off-topic I realize, but I do sometimes get emails from people asking me if I ever write fiction. So indulge yourself. Back to stories about international alcoholics and sluts soon. (And read that interview with English Teacher Q. It's pretty fucking funny.)


Special Brew Man said...

Q sounds like quite a character, is he still alive?

Eve said...

I know I read that interview before, but I didn't remember this part:

Former Teacher Q: I'm still thinking about teaching in the Middle East...

English Teacher X: you and every other lamer on the internet, jack


Perhaps this would be up FETQ's alley:

English Teacher X said...

yeah, he's still hanging in there.