The trip was hellish, as always -- 24 hours total: 18 hours on planes, 6 hours in airports. And an hour long car ride to / from the airport on each side.
Of course I missed the deadline for VODKABERG, my memoir about Russia. But despite jetlag and the usual other family / friend / administrative things involved in coming back to America, it's very close to finished; give me another couple weeks.
The Russian Girlfriend will be going to the embassy in Moscow next week to see if she can get a student visa. If she does, we'll live here until next summer. If she doesn't, I'll probably meet her for a couple more holidays, maybe go to Russia for a while, and then try to get a job in the Emirates and try to get her over there.
But as for America -- I have a lot of grand plans, of course. It would be premature to discuss some of them, but I thought I'd give a brief outline of the American Dream as I intend to live it over this summer:
- Obtain a concealed carry handgun permit, as part of a grander plan to exercise all of my constitutional rights.
- Obtain advanced training with said handgun. (If I can't use my real cock for random controlled destruction of targets anymore, I'll use my artifical cock -- a .40 Beretta PX4 Storm.)
- Take martial arts lessons at a strip mall.
- Learn how to change the oil / spark plugs / serpentine belt / fan belt on a car
and something I'll be starting in about 9 days:
- SERE training. That's Survival, Evasion, Resist, and Escape training -- a 5-day civilian version of the military class. It's a few hours from where I live, taught by a well-known private contractor, bounty hunter and military trainer. (I'm not sure if it's appropriate yet to plug the school; I'll consider that.)
And here are some American issues I plan to address in blog posts in the next couple weeks:
Hookers in Small Town America
Illegal Migrant Farm Workers Vs. English Teachers Abroad
A Statistical Analysis of the Hotness Quotient of Women at the Walmart, the Target, and the TGIFridays
Stay tuned folks, English Teacher X Version 3.0, and VODKABERG, coming soon.