Coming Attractions

Hi there!

Season's Greetings from America, where I return just in time for another horrific massacre of innocents. The New Normal.

Mayan Calendar Apocalypse is in a few days; I'm not too worried, having survived the Y2K BUG and The Jupiter Effect readily enough, but things certainly do feel like the End of the World in general, recently, or is it just me



Always one to be contrary, I somehow managed to get a bad fever and case of diarrhea AFTER I arrived back in America two nights ago. Maybe it was the cheap Pabst Blue Ribbon I drank at the dirty hipster bar my friends too me too after they picked me up in the airport.

So I thought I'd answer a few questions, and talk about the upcoming year. If the world doesn't end next week, I mean.

WHY DID YOU GO TO COSTA RICA?

It was more like, why not? I have a friend down there, a guy I worked with in Saudi, and just in general I wanted to get out of my mother's attic. And I'd never been to Central America. I'll do a write up on it soon.

DID YOU TAKE THE GIRLFRIEND WITH YOU? DID YOU TWO BREAK UP?

No, I didn't. Plan A was to bring her to America on a student visa; Plan B was to go somewhere else and live, anywhere we could agree upon, but she decided she doesn't want to leave her job until she actually has a ring on the finger.

It feels like we're in negotiations to break up, actually, she increasingly realizing that we're just star-crossed, but the current plan is for me to go to Russia in March. There, I guess, the final decision will be made. Exciting cliffhanger!

ARE YOU GOING TO WRITE ANOTHER BOOK? ARE YOU GOING TO WRITE MORE ABOUT THE MIDDLE EAST?

Yeah, I think so. I'm going to write a guide book about grammar, and then I have an idea for the third book in my memoir series --

See all those? That's what we had before blogs. Those are notebooks that I filled up with my various scrawlings and ramblings between 1989 - 2000.

So my idea for the third book is kind of a combination prequel and sequel.

Back when I was in college, I had a really nice, decent, honest girlfriend who would have made a good wife; another long distance relationship. She patiently waited for me to finish college in New Orleans, but of course in the interim LSD, alcohol, random pussy, and Charles Bukowski novels had twisted me all out of shape. And there was a fling with a Catholic schoolgirl in there, too. Little wonder I ended up leaving the country, in retrospect.

I thought it might be interesting to write about that and compare it to my current situation with the long-distance girlfriend. Maybe like, PART ONE would be about my time in Saudi; PART TWO would be about my college years up to the time all my relationships failed and I decided to leave America in 1994; PART THREE three would be about this year and the success (or failure) of this relationship.

So the ending to that book is still being written! How awesome for you to see history as it happens!

Unless the world ends next week, of course.

What about REQUIEM for a title, is that too corny? Or something like FUTURE PAST, maybe.
Or TWILIGHT. Is that taken?



WHAT'S IN THE IMMEDIATE FUTURE?

Gonna stay in America for December and January -- Mom had a hysterectomy and they need some extra hands around the house for a while -- there's that DEATH again -- and I'll probably do some blog posts based on stuff from those old travel journals. Some interesting tidbits there, defo.

Also gonna work on new covers for the books, and a new 2013 edition of the ENGLISH TEACHER X GUIDE TO TEACHING ENGLISH ABROAD, with some new material including internet resources, cartoons, and interviews with teachers.

Also got a couple ideas for trips in February -- including, possibly, going to visit the wife (and her stripper friends) of Slappy from VODKABEG in Miami, and possibly a little jaunt to the Caribbean.

Unless the world ends next week, of course.