I finally have my next job.
My newest gig: private English language instructor for the family of the Sultan of Brunei.
The salary is a low six figures, which is okay; but the perks are likely to be the best part of it. I will be living at his palace, which could potentially be a bit boring, but the contract specifically states that I will have access to the harem that he and his brother maintain.
I know, that articles makes it sound a bit seedy -- American Penthouse pets and that -- but I've been assured that since that stripper from Jersey was there in the 90s, the quality of the harem has improved tremendously and is now heavy on Hungarian porn stars and Brazilian underwear models.
As well, I get a company car, although I personally think it's a bit much:
So! Back to the grind! To strive, to seek, to find, and never to yield!
7 comments:
That's a good one! I've gotten some hate for posting mine today. Decided to do it at the last minute.
Yeah, I saw that. Good luck with your love child.
Nice one. At first I thought it wasn't very convincing, but then I remembered meeting a guy who claimed his next job was personal nurse to the Sultan of Brunei (he was doing farm labour in the Australian bush at the time). So maybe Brunei is one of those things that often crops up in backpacker/English teacher/bullshitter lore, like the French Foreign Legion or very lucrative past careers in law or something.
Kinda like that poem you quoted at the end. Seen bits of it scrawled on hostel walls and such many a time. I always thought "the men who don't fit in" by Robert Service is a better fit for teflers.
Keep dreaming! Unfortunately though I once found out that the Sultan's family are/were all educated in an Independent school in the UK. I was lucky enough to have a tour of the place and doubt any English center could offer the same as they did.
Maybe these jobs do exist though somewhere......
I used to see ads for Brunei on TEFL.com occasionally. They always wanted British school-teaching qualifications, though, the PGSCE or whatever it's called. Don't know if they recruited for the Royals there, though!
Enough of this, where are you going next? The Tenn-Ark-Ucky gig can be accessed with fatty-Rush on any AM station.
What are the options? Probably a lot of new rental vacancies in Cyprus these days along with some newly unemployed/shell-shocked Russians. Could you actually tolerate life in Putin's Russia these days with western+ prices for the same shit service?
Pack it in and head to a place like Chiang Mai?
I've just downloaded iStripper, and now I enjoy having the sexiest virtual strippers get naked on my taskbar.
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