Return to Vodkaberg, Bonus Materials: Ballroom Dancer and ETX Discuss Relationships and Marriage

The last time I saw Ballroom Dancer was in 2009, but we do keep in touch occasionally on Facebook. I realized we hadn't talked for more than 6 months, so the other day, I sent her a message, and we had a lively conversation about relationships (mostly mine) and marriage.

This will serve as an update about my relationship and life as well as hers. I present it in its entirety. 

Ballroom Dancer and ETX at embankment in 2005; her finer points on display. 

English Teacher X

hello, how's it going?

9:42am

Ballroom Dancer

hello, dear) im fine. in moscow. you?

9:43am

English Teacher X

well, life has been a little bumpy recently

returning to Saudi Arabia for new job soon

are you married and all that?

Tuesday

3:38pm

Ballroom Dancer

Well I'm married and all that)) my life did not change actually: lots of work and sometimes home)))

Are you married finally?)

3:38pm

English Teacher X

no, it seems it won't work out

I met the one Russian girl who doesn't want to live abroad

3:39pm

Ballroom Dancer

That one who I have seen on the pics?

3:39pm

English Teacher X

yeah

I tried to bring her here on student visa, they didn't give it

I offered to take her to Cyprus to live, she didn't want, too afraid

3:40pm

Ballroom Dancer

And? You don't want to stay in Russia?

Oh really?

Cyprus is next door what is the problem???

3:41pm

English Teacher X

yeah I know

it's absolute easiest place for RUssian to live

more than 30,000 russians living there

beautiful, sunny, not expensive

but she was afraid

3:41pm

Ballroom Dancer

It's the easiest way

3:42pm

English Teacher X

she's very shy, nervous person

3:42pm

Ballroom Dancer

Of what???

3:42pm

English Teacher X

of everything

visas

renting flats

working in foreign country

3:42pm

Ballroom Dancer

I'm sure you can manage it

You are experienced person

3:42pm

English Teacher X

i waited all year, tried to convince her

3:42pm

Ballroom Dancer

In all this questions

3:42pm

English Teacher X

she didn't want it

i can do all those things, I invited, she said "I don't know" for 6 months, then took new job in Vodkaberg

3:43pm

Ballroom Dancer

(((((

Stupid woman

(((

3:43pm

English Teacher X

but all the girls I know who want to live abroad, married boys from the village!

it's typical human nature, I suppose

well, not all of them

3:44pm

Ballroom Dancer

Agree

3:44pm

English Teacher X

married boys from the village in Turkey, sometimes

3:44pm

Ballroom Dancer

)))

It's Vodkaberg style I guess

I have no friends here like this

In fact Vodkaberg is village. So what to expect from them?

3:45pm

English Teacher X

well, you can introduce me to somebody

3:45pm

Ballroom Dancer

))

Come here

Ballroom Dancer in my kitchen early 2006

3:45pm

English Teacher X

but I have to move around a lot in my job, I'm world's richest homeless guy

that's other problem

if I had house in Cyprus, maybe, she would like it

she doesn't like idea of moving around a lot

3:46pm

Ballroom Dancer

Buy the house then

)))

Or apartment

3:46pm

English Teacher X

even if I buy a house there, I can't stay there all the time

only place I can make a lot of money is the middle east

and have to go back to America to see parents, things like that

3:47pm

Ballroom Dancer

By this moment I don't see anything owful

3:48pm

English Teacher X

well, every person says the same thing

except this girl!

but she doesn't want to break up, also

3:48pm

Ballroom Dancer

Oh

3:48pm

English Teacher X

she's having nervous breakdown from fear of it, though

3:49pm

Ballroom Dancer

Maybe alcohol can fix the problem. Make her drunk and take to the plane!)

3:49pm

English Teacher X

But main thing, I'm asking her what she wants to do, and Russian girls hate that

i need to tell her, we do this, or we finish

but when I try, she just cries and asks if we can talk about it later

3:51pm

Ballroom Dancer

Usually men do things like this with girls (without cries). It's strange that you give everything to her and having this as the answer...

3:51pm

English Teacher X

all other girls I know are married, is the problem

3:51pm

Ballroom Dancer

Does she love you?

3:51pm

English Teacher X

I can't leave her for someone else,

don't know anybody else

hard to meet girls in Saudi!

3:52pm

Ballroom Dancer

(((

3:52pm

English Teacher X

there's love, but we are very different people, don't like same things

I don't think we'd be happy together, why I wanted to take her to Cyprus first

some girls I know geting divorced now, maybe something will happen

3:54pm

Ballroom Dancer

Sad story

Do you feel like you waisting time?

3:55pm

English Teacher X

Well, this year bumpy

as I said

both parents ill

3:55pm

Ballroom Dancer

((

3:55pm

English Teacher X

so after I left Saudi, was helping them

waiting for girlfriend to make decision

3:55pm

Ballroom Dancer

Of course

3:56pm

English Teacher X

I took some nice holidays and did some cool stuff, but it was sort of a wasted year

3:56pm

Ballroom Dancer

(((

3:56pm

English Teacher X

then this year, waiting for job interview,

then documents for new job

they offered me job in March, it takes 2-3 months to do documents

I was in Russia recently

then Greece, took another girl who was 25, that didn't work out very well

came back here

found out today, somebody in Ukraine stole money from my "bankomat" card

3:57pm

Ballroom Dancer

Oh!

How could it happen?

3:58pm

English Teacher X

probably a hacked bankomat in Kiev

they do it different ways

3:58pm

Ballroom Dancer

Did you call to bank?

3:58pm

English Teacher X

yeah, bank said they will give me money back (probably)

waiting

3:58pm

Ballroom Dancer

They need to decide it

3:59pm

English Teacher X

or somebody at bank in Ukraine stole information

or somebody who works on bankomat

look at youtube, they show how it's possible

3:59pm

Ballroom Dancer

What did you do in Ukraine?

3:59pm

English Teacher X

Went there to get Russian visa. I heard Ukrainian women are good

but not better than Vodkaberg, I think

mostly just did sightseeing

4:00pm

Ballroom Dancer

Ukrainian woman are more focused on rich guys I guess))))))

4:00pm

English Teacher X

yeah, I don't know

they don't have nice skin, most of the ones I saw

heard they had biggest breasts

but of course, I know you, so I already know Russian girls have biggest breasts

4:02pm

Ballroom Dancer

Look, what if you arrange simple base human material values in life? And stop to propose homeless style? May be this lady will change the answer?)

)))))))

You are very tolerant as usual)))))))

To me espesially ))))$)

4:03pm

English Teacher X

well, I would have to change my job

I don't really want to

I like this life, it's why I made it!

If I wanted normal life, I would have done it twenty years ago

but I think of buying house in the country and growing my own food

maybe in my 50s

I could save enough money to retire, if I work 5 more years in Saudi

and I make money off internet, writing books, I will continue to do that

4:04pm

Ballroom Dancer

Look at Beckham's life. He always change the countries, houses atc. But he never propose himself as homeless))))

4:05pm

English Teacher X

well, yeah, obviously his wife likes that stuff

4:05pm

Ballroom Dancer

))

4:05pm

English Teacher X

I know one guy who married Vodkaberg girl, they move around, take different jobs in different countries

they're pretty happy

as teachers

4:06pm

Ballroom Dancer

So you see! It can work. Pr is the main thing)

4:06pm

English Teacher X

Obviously I have a lot of anti-social habits, though

4:08pm

Ballroom Dancer

1) You are adult 2) you have brains enough 3) you can make any strategy of life you want. And everything you say it's just an excuse. I think you don't desire it so much. And it means that your desire is different. And you don't tell me your real desire)))

4:09pm

English Teacher X

hmm, well, I knew what I wanted to do in my 20s and 30s, I never thought much about my 40s

maybe I thought I would be dead

saw movie the other day, guy said, about marriage, "If you feel like you can't live without her, marry her. If you don't feel like that, you drop her now."

I don't feel like that.

But she's nice, sweet, honest,

would be good wife, except for fact she doesn't like my life!

(The quotation in question is at about 2:30)

4:10pm

Ballroom Dancer

So this is her real reason

4:11pm

English Teacher X

yeah, she can't understand my life at all

and i can't understand her life

work, work, boring life, live in same place

but she can't understand why anybody would want to live alone, change countries often, etc.

4:12pm

Ballroom Dancer

I know that if you will want her so much you will do something for her.))) all men have this power. If men really want woman - it's simple) but you need to change for her))))

4:13pm

English Teacher X

i changed!

4:13pm

Ballroom Dancer

Really?!!!

4:13pm

English Teacher X

I took her on holidays, spent summers in Russia

was faithful, stopped drinking

mostly

although it was easy to stop, in Saudi

4:13pm

Ballroom Dancer

WOW)

4:13pm

English Teacher X

told her I would take her anywhere she wanted!

4:13pm

Ballroom Dancer

Impressed!

4:13pm

English Teacher X

we had holiday every 3 months, you can see photos

4:13pm

Ballroom Dancer

Yes I saw

4:14pm

English Teacher X

but she didn't want to go anywhere, she wanted house, car, baby

i didn't think it would work out

i want those things AFTER I know marriage is happy, not before

4:15pm

Ballroom Dancer

You see woman are different from man

4:15pm

English Teacher X

well, I undestand it, yeah

4:15pm

Ballroom Dancer

But I'm on your side))))))

4:15pm

English Teacher X

I"m a grasshopper, she's an ant

everybody says she is wrong here, so I feel like I did everything I could

4:15pm

Ballroom Dancer

I'm not married officially still)))))))

It looks like

4:16pm

English Teacher X

why, is it new style in Moscow?

4:16pm

Ballroom Dancer

I'm not a woman maybe)))))

Did you notice anything strange in me?))))

I'm happy without marriage. And I'm not joking)

4:17pm

English Teacher X

it's not about happy, marriage

4:17pm

Ballroom Dancer

Yes!

4:18pm

English Teacher X

people in Vodkaberg marry because they are 25

not because they want to be happy

4:18pm

Ballroom Dancer

Stupid way to spend money)))))

4:18pm

English Teacher X

but I suppose you have a reason, probably connected to money

4:18pm

Ballroom Dancer

No)))

I know the reason

I'm event planner)))))

4:18pm

English Teacher X

probably you want to have huge expensive wedding

4:19pm

Ballroom Dancer

Nooooooo))))))

I don't care about weddings

I don't want to entertain people

4:19pm

English Teacher X

I never really thought about it much at all

4:19pm

Ballroom Dancer

I'm happy with my life))))

4:19pm

English Teacher X

it just always seemed to me something not going to happen to me

something for other people

4:19pm

Ballroom Dancer

Kidding?

4:20pm

English Teacher X

just never thought about marraige much

4:20pm

Ballroom Dancer

))))

4:20pm

English Teacher X

don't know why, but it was never my dream

4:20pm

Ballroom Dancer

Look it's not so important

4:20pm

English Teacher X

I thought it would be nice to have girl who is comfortable with me

4:20pm

Ballroom Dancer

Do you want baby?

4:21pm

English Teacher X

again, just never thought aobut it much

but I like children, generally

most married guys tell me not to get married

4:22pm

Ballroom Dancer

Really?))))))))

They choose wrong woman.

My husband is dreaming to marry me))))))))

Ahaha

)))))

4:23pm

English Teacher X

yeah, until you marry him

maybe that's why you don't

I'm sure you've seen as many 2-year marriages as I have

it seems to be the rule for first marraiges in Vodkaberg

two years only

4:23pm

Ballroom Dancer

I live with him 7 years)) what can be worse?))))

4:23pm

English Teacher X

i hear that story again and again "Everything was fine until we got married!"

4:26pm

Ballroom Dancer

I don't pay so much attention to someone's stories. It's one life)))

4:28pm

English Teacher X

I even offered to move to Moscow or Piter with her, she said, "I don't want to live in rented flat!"

she has clear idea of life, completely opposite of my ideas

4:29pm

Ballroom Dancer

Sounds bad(

4:30pm

English Teacher X

hmm, yeah

4:30pm

Ballroom Dancer

What have she done to live in her own flat??????

I moved from sweet life to moscow and worked hard. It's easy to stay on position: someone has to do my life better

4:31pm

English Teacher X

she still has mentality from 90s, I think

afraid of disasters

doesn't want to have money in the bank, etc

but I tell her, "Okay, then we should break up."

4:31pm

Ballroom Dancer

I call it : do not take any responsibility for your own life

4:32pm

English Teacher X

oh, she's responsible

she works hard

4:32pm

Ballroom Dancer

Leave her

)))

I deserve better)))

4:32pm

English Teacher X

one reason she idn't want to go to Cyprus, she didn't want to leave job

4:33pm

English Teacher X

well, we don't always get what we deserve in this life.

yeah, but you know, Russian girls are VERY difficult

I 'd like to try a new nationality ...

4:33pm

Ballroom Dancer

Look so many interesting free and smart ladies here

4:33pm

Ballroom Dancer

No. We always get exact what we deserve

4:33pm

English Teacher X

interesting, smart, completely dishonest, greedy, unfaithful ...

we all get death

4:33pm

Ballroom Dancer

True

4:33pm

English Teacher X

so we all deserve to die?

4:34pm

Ballroom Dancer

Ahahahaha)))))

Exactly)))) after interesting life

4:34pm

English Teacher X

beautiful, cultured, elegant, graceful, stubborn, violent,

4:34pm

Ballroom Dancer

Dreams)))

4:34pm

English Teacher X

cold-hearted, mercenary ...

practical

4:35pm

Ballroom Dancer

You know what?

4:35pm

English Teacher X

I need to try a new nationality

4:35pm

Ballroom Dancer

Miss you!)

4:35pm

English Teacher X 

you know I haven't been out with anybody except Russian girls in 15 years?

4:35pm

Ballroom Dancer

Miss of talking to you)))))

Ooooooooo!

4:35pm

English Teacher X 

well, I'm on internet at lot in Saudi, you can talk to me

4:35pm

Ballroom Dancer

Record!

)

4:35pm

English Teacher X 

no, wait,

13 years

definitely

4:35pm

Ballroom Dancer

))))

I come back tommorow) I need to sleep))))

4:36pm

English Teacher X 

2000 I lived in Prague, went out with some Czech girls

oh, right, it's late there

good night

4:36pm

Ballroom Dancer

Kiss you boy!

4:36pm

English Teacher X

ciao

Seen 4:36 PM

Ballroom Dancer, Another Girl, Uncle Cool, and ETX, in 2005 at the embankment

So all those years I was busting girls' chops that they only liked me because I was a foreigner? Turns out liking me because I'm a foreigner is actually a pretty necessary part of the arrangement.

Oh the irony!