This month on ALPHA OR OMEGA, we feature two well-known American actors. (Kind of a no-brainer, really, this one, but we haven't played this in a while.)
First contestant: John C. Homes.
John "Johnny Wadd" Holmes was an American porn actor with an enormous cock, somewhere between 10 - 14 inches long. He claimed he had sex with about 14,000 women, though given the unlikely math of that (2 women every day for 20 years) the real number was probably closer to 4000. And he even got paid for it ... but then again, so did most of the women.
He, uh, also had sex with some dudes.
Just a few "dick moves" attributable to the guy are: pimping out and beating his 15-year-old girlfriend, informing to the police, dealing and abusing massive amounts of heroin and cocaine, and last but not least, being involved in a gruesome quadruple homicide, after setting up two drug gangs he knew to rob each other. He also had sex with porn stars after he knew he already had AIDS, including Italian member of parliament Cicciolina, (but fortunately he doesn't seem to have transmitted it.)
Oh, but he did reportedly canvass door to door for "Save the Whales." Okay then.
He leaves as his legacy a slew of porn films that are unwatchably stupid, a rather unduly optimistic portrait of him in the film BOOGIE NIGHTS ... and a line of dildos.
We'll give him a few extra points for his mustache, I guess. Died of AIDS broke, under indictment, and generally despised in 1988 but he still rots in hell as ...
Next contestant: Paul Newman
So, yeah, sure, Paul Newman was just an actor, which is a profession of no great importance -- strutting and fretting on the stage and all that -- but I must admit he was pretty exemplary at it.
(Now there's some life philosophy there for you -- "the look of the country changes because of the men we admire.")
He also excelled at race car driving -- competing at LeMans and racing up to age 70.
But the dizzying scope of his philanthropic activities impresses the most, going far beyond the usual tax-deductible donation. He started his own line of food products that donated its earnings to charity - $300 million by 2010, giving $20,000,000 to charity in 2008 alone. Started charity camps for disenfranchised children, foundations to help prevent drug abuse and domestic violence, and helped found the Committee Encouraging Corporate Philanthropy.
Jesus, anybody else feel lazy and worthless just reading that? I certainly do.
Married for FIFTY YEARS to Joanne Woodward, and was unswervingly devoted to her. "Why should I go out for hamburgers when I have steak at home?" he famously said.
Died of cancer at age 83, surrounded by family and close friends.
(He won the Academy Award in 1986 for this one.)
VERDICT: TRUE ALPHA!!