Thursday, May 15, 2014

Conversation with Sam, Part Two: Teaching in Peru, Traveler Burnout, Voluntourism Scams and Peruvian Babes

This is Part Two of a conversation I had with "Sam," a former colleague (and perhaps my protege?) from Vodkaberg. He is currently working and living in Peru with his Russian wife.

We continue to discuss Peru, the changing demographics of English teachers, the innocents abroad 2014, and Peruvian babes.




English Teacher X 
4/26, 12:24am
You guys think you'll be there in late August? Flights from (my home city in America) are surprisingly reasonable to Lima.


Sam
4/26, 6:02am
We'll definitely be here at the end of August. Come on down.


English Teacher X
4/26, 10:35am
How are the students? Bearable? This job is astounding,
80 percent of the students simply won't do anything at all in class.
You basically just give them a worksheet or a textbook page,
and then stand there for 40 minutes while they don't do it
and yell at them if they try to use their phones.
For this, they hire the most qualified teachers in the world and pay them $8000 - $12,000 a month.

Sam
4/26, 4:01pm
Actually the students are pretty ridiculous here.
Not, obviously, as bad as yours, but not great.
They're routinely 40-50-60 minutes late and all ages are constantly on their phones.
But it's mixed gender and they're semi-westernized so, bearable.

English Teacher X
4/26, 5:53pm
You done any cocaine yet?


Sam
4/27, 2:15am
Haha, not yet. We saw some dudes doing it, though.

English Teacher X
5/1, 10:25am
In general how are you finding it there?  


Sam
5/1, 10:30am
I had this friend from high school is super into music say
that he thought he had exhausted music,
no matter what he finds it all feels familiar.
That's I guess how I feel about travelling.

English Teacher X
5/1, 10:33am
ha, I was feeling that way about women in Russia
burnout is a literal phenomenon, too much stimulation messes up your amygdala
I did a blog entry on that

Sam
5/1, 10:34am
ha

English Teacher X
5/1, 10:34am
There's a TED talk about how porn is messing up our amygdalas

Sam
5/1, 10:35am
They have said they may let me teach their 'tefl' course here.
 If they don't I don't think I can bear this shit.
But as far as porn burning out a part of my brain,
nothing limits porn more than living in a hostel with your wife for two months.

English Teacher X
5/1, 10:36am
well yeah, I was just giving an example
the students are bad, or administration, or both?

Sam
5/1, 10:37am
Nothing will ever  match that strange feeling of
being met at Vodkaberg airport and driving past
the bumpy oil fields in (the Screech-owl of a manager)'s SUV
with euro beats in the background and being dropped off
 in what felt like the middle of nowhere.

English Teacher X
5/1, 10:37am
thank god nothing will ever match it

Sam
5/1, 10:38am
Chuck and I have talked about it.
It was a singular experience that at the time seemed horrible.
But now nowhere seems exotic anymore.

English Teacher X
5/1, 10:38am
Shit, try Saudi.

Sam
5/1, 10:39am
There is no chance I would experience culture shock.

English Teacher X
5/1, 10:39am
Ttromping through dust fields with the prayer calls screaming
you might experience culture shock in America

Sam
5/1, 10:39am
for sure

English Teacher X
5/1, 10:40am
I'm taking (the Girlfriend) to Malta in two weeks. Going to Dubai tomorrow.

Sam
5/1, 10:40am
Cool
No one is in Dubai anymore
Come visit us here.
It will be like a flashback

English Teacher X
5/1, 10:41am
oh, well, yeah, true, Crazy Bob is in Abu Dhabi
But it's always a treat to leave the Kingdom
I told my principal I'm leaving here at the end of my contract

Sam
5/1, 10:42am
"Is enlightenment going to be your reward?
Nope. Eventually, you get burned out."

English Teacher X
5/1, 10:42am
there's some discrepancy about the end of my contract date


Sam
5/1, 10:42am

?What are you going to do

English Teacher X
5/1, 10:42am
might be beginning of July, might be the end
they have to clarify that
I'll go to America first, with my return ticket, than I'll try to come to Peru.
Amazon adventures and Machu Pichu, I'm all for that

Sam
5/1, 10:44am
cool

English Teacher X
5/1, 10:44am
As for work, think I'll take a little time off, but probably apply for jobs in the Emirates eventually
I've got a few ideas for torture-porn thrillers that might take off, who knows

Sam
5/1, 10:45am
get at DoS job?

English Teacher X
5/1, 10:45am
I have shitloads of money saved, anyway
did you guys consider the place where (another teacher) works in Iraq? That might feel exotic.
He seems to like it there

Sam
5/1, 10:47am
yeah
I think where he worked before, Azerbaijan could be interesting

English Teacher X
5/1, 10:48am
Costa Rica felt exotic to me because there were so many weird animals running around everywhere
I think they give Russians an entry visa for 30 days now

Sam
5/1, 10:49am
I've got a guy you should totally interview.
He works at a school here and only has the job cause he's a big black guy from D.C.
and he helped the owner of his school out of a bar fight.
He gets paid on time, the other teachers at his school don't.

English Teacher X
5/1, 10:49am
yeah, I'm seeing more American and British blacks abroad these days

Sam
5/1, 10:49am
Chuck wants us to go to Ecuador because Vietnamese people don't need visas

English Teacher X
5/1, 10:50am
I'm sure Ecuador is nice.

Sam
5/1, 10:50am
And freaking old ladies. this is the mecca for old ladies

English Teacher X
5/1, 10:50am
There are quite a few black guys here, mostly American and British black muslims. 
Peru is not a big whore-monger destination though is it?
They go to Colombia, mainly

Sam
5/1, 10:51am
no

English Teacher X
5/1, 10:51am
Wonder what (the Venezuelan) is up to, he's not on Facebook anymore.

Sam
5/1, 10:52am
They are the true innocents abroad  here. I just want to cuddle these stupid kitties who pay 1500 dollars for a non-recognized tefl course, don't get offered a job, then are left to fend for themselves.

English Teacher X
5/1, 10:52am
I've spent years trying to slap those dopes awake with my website, I did my part

Sam
5/1, 10:52am
We are thinking of hitting up Colombia next. Or Ecuador as I said.

English Teacher X
5/1, 10:53am
In Costa Rica the owner of a hostel said the latest thing is not english teaching, but these "volunteer" scams

Sam
5/1, 10:54am
Did you hear the Crazy Bob story of the Balochi girl
 who gave him a lot of diseases and he was afraid to fuck
so he went to spinney's and bought a bunch of different vegetables?

English Teacher X
5/1, 10:55am
Ha, no
These volunteer scams where somebody pays some ungodly amount of money,
 and then they arrive and there's no volunteer work,
 or they just give them a list of places to go ask for volunteer work
and drop them off at a hotel

Sam
5/1, 10:55am
We have met so many people paying tons to work at a weaving collective or whatever.
Voluntourism is alive and well here.

English Teacher X
5/1, 10:55am
Maybe that'll be the next ETX expose.
I mentioned it in HOW TO SURVIVE LIVING ABROAD
about Cambodian orphanages 
they have orphanages that are basically just little zoos
where they charge tourists admissions and tell them to bring food and toys for the kids

Crazy Bob and I are supposed to go to Mussandam in Oman on Saturday, if we don't get too drunk

Sam
5/1, 10:57am
what is that?

English Teacher X
5/1, 10:57am

Oh it's a little chunk of coastline that belongs to Oman with some islands,
but it is north of the Emirates, they have dolphins and snorkeling and stuff
on the Strait of Hormuz
So how are you guys fixed for money, are you still living pretty close to the bone?

Sam
5/1, 11:00am
yep. for sure
the idiot teachers here all pay tons for tiny furnished apartments. We're planning to get some addition to our 4.90 dollars an hour with some air b n b in an unfurnished flat

English Teacher X
5/1, 11:01am
what do apartments cost there?

Sam
5/1, 11:01am
It really is like travelling back in english teaching time

English Teacher X
5/1, 11:01am
are the teachers at least drunk all the time?
or they drink herbal tea and coffee and talk about indigenous people rights?

Sam
5/1, 11:02am
No, the teachers here are all super proper and hard working.
The only degenerates are the higher paid ones with prior experience.

English Teacher X
5/1, 11:03am
do they fuck the students, or that doesn't happen?



Sam
5/1, 11:05am
No, it's weird.

English Teacher X
5/1, 11:05am
I hear Peruvian women are not the most attractive, anyway
what about the women teachers, they hook up with the local playboys?

Sam
5/1, 11:05am
but most of the teachers at our school have one month experience at most
No Way, the chicks here are super duper hot.

English Teacher X
5/1, 11:06am
oh really? you pique my interest

Sam
5/1, 11:06am
Among the hottest I've ever seen.
But more savvy than Russian girls.
They can tell when a guy is just pretending to be rich.

English Teacher X
5/1, 11:07am
Latinas never really did it for me,
but maybe I just never met the right ones

Sam
5/1, 11:07am
Seriously, there are hot chicks here and they openly talk about finding foreign boyfriends. 
Like travelling back in time.
You're crazy if you never found any latinas hot.

English Teacher X
5/1, 11:08am
Well, I mean, Penelope Cruz and whatzername that was in DESPERADO
Selma Hayek

Sam
5/1, 11:08am
The percentage is not spectacular,
 there are some native american uggos,
but the spanishy girls who slut themselves up to go to the club are hot.

English Teacher X
5/1, 11:08am
I knew a bunch of Puerto Rican girls in college
I saw and met Dominican and Costa Rican girls last year

Sam
5/1, 11:08am
I have a student who looks exactly like a young Penelope Cruz, but with braces.

English Teacher X
5/1, 11:09am
mostly they looked like Jessica Rabbit with the implants and hair extensions

Sam
5/1, 11:09am
haha
they are into the big hair. 80s style, 80s gender roles. your kind of place

English Teacher X
5/1, 11:09am

I noticed in Dubai a lot of pastel colors last time I was there
How much does an apartment cost there?

Sam
5/1, 11:12am
teacher rooms are about 200 dollars, unfurnished flats not much more

English Teacher X
5/1, 11:12am
Maybe I'll come down there and live off my torture porn money for a while

Sam
5/1, 11:13am
just pay me a few bucks a night and live in my place.
deal for both of us




3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Is prior teaching experience required in places like the Kingdom or the Emirates? (I am a lawyer by training)

englishteacherx said...

Generally, yes. Most places like you to have a minimum of 5 years teaching experience, plus a BA and a CELTA, and to get the good jobs, they often want you to have at least 2 teaching in the Middle East. There are a few private language schools that don't require much in the way of quals, though.

Anonymous said...

OK thanks -- probably not worth the effort for me unless a six figure gig like yours was easily obtainable ...