Not the Age but the Mileage

Just sitting here in Karlovy Vary, Czech Republic with the Girlfriend, our first day of taking the waters here in the ancient spa town, and I sat down to do some figuring:

Using the website http://disween.com I calculated the distances I have traveled in the last five months, since I left the Kingdom, including:

• The Kingdom to Saigon, Vietnam
• Vietnam to Las Vegas, USA
• My home city to Utah (and back)
• The usual three states worth of driving required to see my friends and family in America
• Dirty Southern City to Marmaris, Turkey (and back)
• Dirty Southern City to Lima, Peru 
• Lima to Arequipa and Cusco, Peru and then through various points and on up to Guayaquil, Ecuador
• Guayaquil, Ecuador to the Golopogas Islands (and back)
• Guayaquil and various points south down to Lima, Peru, and then back to America
• Dirty Southern City to Prague, Czech Republic

The total I got? 

71,220 km, or 44,253 miles. Rounded off for convenience and only an estimate within a few hundred or so. 

If we figure it's been about five months since I left the Kindom, that means about 150 days. With 24 hours a day, that means it's been about 3600 hours. 

44,253 miles divided by 3600 hours, means that my average speed in the last five months has been about 12 miles per hour. 

"Sometimes the fun is in overdoing it." -- David Letterman, circa 1982

I realize my blog content has been a tad wispy in the last few months but I have some good stuff coming up for 2015, including a couple of great interviews, a gross sex story, and I'll eventually get around to writing some more-than-basic impressions of the stuff I've seen recently. Plus more editions of BOOKS ABOUT DRINKING FUCKING AND TRAVELING. And cartoons cartoons cartoons, of course.