Iraq and a Hard Place: Interview with English Teacher M

As mentioned recently in the comments section, you occasionally see jobs advertised in the various war zones of Iraq and Afghanistan. One area, Kurdistan in northern Iraq, is not actually a war zone (not yet anyway) and I've known several people who worked there, and most actually liked it well enough -- you can drink there, and it's scenic enough, and you're right in the middle of developing history. 

Of course, the werewolves are coming, so here's a little interview with English Teacher M (who also taught briefly in Libya) who has spent quite a bit of time in Iraq

English Teacher X

are you back in Iraq? Aren't those ISIS motherfuckers trying to tear up that area now?

English Teacher M

In Kurdistan, Isis is still in Mosul, but they're basically surrounded now

English Teacher X

are you working at that same college now?

what's the name of it?

English Teacher M

Different place, (REDACTED)

English Teacher X

how much do they pay?

English Teacher M

In a really shitty little town not far from Erbil

$2400/mo plus the usual perks

English Teacher X

i though I heard ISIS attacked Erbil.

with stolen american tanks and shit

English Teacher M

But only work 12 hrs a week

They attacked a little village 20 miles away

They've done it before

English Teacher X

what motherfuckers

burning people alive, as if beheadings weren't savage enough

"We've gotta take it to the next level, folks!"

English Teacher M

They have to keep upping the ante

English Teacher X

how much vacation time do you get a year in that contract?

English Teacher M

I have a six month contract which is up end of August, we finish classes in mid June

So basically last 2 and half months are paid vacation

English Teacher X

how are the students?

English Teacher M

Shitty

It's just a dumpy public uni

English Teacher X

i'd have imagined them enthusiastic to make something of themselves

or they feel hopeless about it all?

English Teacher M

Some are, but they just have a long way to go

They don't have much perspective on anything

English Teacher X

a generation of war hasn't left them too enthusiastic about life, I guess

English Teacher M

Plus these are basically the rednecks and hillbillies of Kurdistan

English Teacher X

ah,, right. I taught a lot of those.

English Teacher M

Not the urban elite you find at American uni where I used to teach

English Teacher X

if they had money, they'd be studying in London or somwhere nice.

how do they feel about ISIS? Does it come up in conversaton a lot, or everybody avoids the subject?

English Teacher M

At this point Isis is just a fact of life, doesn't really come up anymore

Last summer it was always a topic of discussion

Lot of the students have family in the peshmerga

English Teacher X

People don't consider them the wolf at the door?

English Teacher M

Nah, they trust the peshmerga to protect them

And it's been 6 months

English Teacher X

and they pissed off the Egyptians and the Jordanians, now

although I imagine they're not shaking in their boots about that, exactly

English Teacher M

I think they've pissed off everybody

Especially the ones living under them

All they rely on now is brute force and fear

English Teacher X

they seem to enjoy being the bad guys

Not since the Nazis have we seen such scary and effective use of propoganda and branding

do they have a logo?

English Teacher M

The black flag I think

English Teacher X

So do you have any kind of evacuation plan, if things go south?

Are there any embassies around there?

English Teacher M

Us consulate 2 hours away in erbil

Airport there

English Teacher X

are you registred with the embassy for updates by SMS? I always tried to do that but it never worked.

English Teacher M

I haven't bothered

I probably should

English Teacher X

mind if I use this as a blog entry, with names and identifying information changed?

English Teacher M

Sure, just don't use the town or uni names if that's ok

English Teacher X

do you mind if I use the name Erbil aas being two hours away?

gotta have some reference point

English Teacher M

Sure

Just no (REDACTED)

English Teacher X

right

of course

English Teacher M

Gotta protect my paycheck!

English Teacher X

now I'm wondering if I write something about ISIS, will they try to hack my site or declare a fatwa on me 

shit, am I ready for the big time?

English Teacher M

They'll prob appreciate the publicity

English Teacher X 

I'll call it "Between Iraq and a Hard Place." I'm pretty sure that's wildly original. 

* * * 

Can't we all just get along? (But before anybody asks in the comments, yes, I'm aware that had America not pointlessly invaded Iraq, we wouldn't be having this problem. But then again, don't try to tell the Kurds that Sadaam Hussein didn't have weapons of mass destruction.