White Tongue, Mullets, and The Smell of Ham

My tongue turns fuzzy white when I drink alcohol. I guess everyone's tongue gets a bit gooey when they drink, but mine looks like it's covered with paste.

I was worried about this for a while. Then a friend told me it's just a way the body rids itself of toxins, like ear wax and sweat, and nothing to particularly worry about.

I remain uncomforted. Meanwhile I kiss girls with a white tongue oozing toxins.

We went to the nightclub last night. Mullets have become extremely popular in Russia, probably due to mulleted popstar Dima Vilan taking third place in the Eurovision song contest. His rather conservative Mick Jagger-esqe mullet has only proved to be a starting point for some of the more ambitious men about town -- we have some real Billy Ray Cyrus/professional wrestler mullets around here now, man. Some mid-south circa 1983 mullets.

Really takes me back. It's a fucking nightmare.

I talked to a lot of different girls, but they all smelled like ham.