Wednesday, March 28, 2007

The Big Fat Sell-Out: English Teacher X Wants YOU!

Okay, I found out that not only do I have the power to hire, my school is so desperate for teachers I will get a bounty for each new one I find.

I figure this is as good a place to start as any.

Anybody interested in signing a nine-month contract to work in Vodkaberg, Russia, starting next September, please drop me a line at

Bear in mind that this is a fairly reputable language school with decent working conditions and salary, but it's still a chain language school -- read all the stuff on my TEACHER TIPS section if you're a novice. Drunkards and whoremongers only accepted if you can keep your shit together for morning classes, put up with working in the evenings, etc.

Experience and qualifications preferred but not absolutely necessary, depending on a few things. Salary and such somewhat negotiable.

And yes, I'm a big 37-year-old pussy now, so don't expect me to be a wild animal with a white-board marker. I'm a nice enough guy though.


ViolenceDispenser said...

I am probably the only dullard whom never figured out where exactly Vodkaberg was in the couple of weeks I've been reading (although I had a wee suspicion it might be somewhere in Russia.) All I really had to go on was not St Pete's or Moscow and has a population of 1.8 million.

So is that it - Samara? Or is that what you say in public and then a successful applicant will be informed of the actual location by email? I've become pretty paranoid in my old age (25, I'm due for a prostate examination.) But my spelling and grammar are first-rate, I have an appreciation of classical literature, take work seriously and poke hotties with a passion.

However, I'll pass on your generous offer-to-the-world since I dislike straight vodka (especially the paint-thinner that's sold in Russia), speak almost no Russian (not bad at reading it) and I really dislike teaching.

Good luck though, ETX.

Not fooled for a second said...


GB Shannon said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
GB Shannon said...

Huh? Wha...? I've never witnessed a person decline a job with such arrogance that was not personally offered to him. Jenna Jamison wants to suck a dick sometime, however, I'll pass on her generous offer-to-the-world since I have high standards in my mom's basement here in Dipshitsville. Fucking doofus.

ViolenceDispenser said...