Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Memento to Forget

Last summer I made a post entitled, "MEAT LOAF, WATERSLIDE, BOOBIES: THE GAME!"

The girl from this post, pictured below, occasionally gets in touch with me, about every three months or so. The last time I saw her was in December, when she wanted me to write out all the answers for her English assignments for her. (For plying my trade, I was rewarded with her coin of the realm -- sex, of course.)

She told me to bring her a keychain from America. What I usually do when people I don't especially like ask me to bring them souvenirs from America is go to the dollar store and buy a bunch of crap -- there's loads of cheap junk with American flags and such on it there.

I can't remember if I couldn't find a keychain, or couldn't find one cheap enough, or what, but I didn't bring her one. She's been recently bugging me to get the keychain, and called last Saturday and wanted to meet to get it. I figured giving her nothing would also get me nothing, if you understand me.

Over the years, I've accumulated a box of gifts that students have given me -- mostly completely useless knick-knacks, including a stuffed monkey, a small statue of a horse, Christmas ornaments, etc. I searched frantically through it for something that looked like it was from America.

Finally I found it -- a candle designed to look like a glass of Jack Daniels whiskey.

I told her that the cat must have run off with her keychain, knocked it under the sofa or something, and gave her the candle designed to look like a glass of Jack Daniels.

She accepted it, but wasn't totally satisfied -- she came to the bar where my cronies and I were drinking and sat for only one beer and then left, telling me to call her when I found the keychain.

My cronies were impressed by the way I'd handled things, but a bit puzzled as to why she hadn't liked the candle so much.

"Much cooler than a keychain," I agreed.

"Maybe she collects keychains," somebody suggested.

I doubt she collect anything other than rich guys and abortions, myself.

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