Sunday, September 16, 2007

Pillow Talk

"You know, your penis has an interesting shape."

"Why thank you."

"It's . . . wider at the top. . . did you do something to it?"

"DO something to it??!! What could I DO to it?"

"Some men. . . uh, cut them. . ."

"CUT THEM??!!"

She struggled to explain, and I spent an uncomfortable few minutes, with my head full of images of disenchanted men whittling their penises into different shapes, until I finally realized she was talking about circumcision.

21 comments:

Gap Kid said...

Have an AIDS test buddy, we wouldn't want to you to die a slow, depressing death now.....would we?

Anonymous said...

He's not likely to get AIDS. You don't get it from "One Stroke and I'm DONE."

Gap Kid said...

You do if you fuck scag whores!

kiev said...

gap kid is nothing but a hater, and as we all know from experience, haters are full of jealousy and low self esteem. Hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, you sir belong on that certain Dave Chappelle skit -=x

Gap Kid said...

It is true. I so want to go to the Former Eastern Bloc and con hard-working, mongoloid faced potato eaters out of their savings.

I thought all you needed was a white face, a pulse and a penchant for 9year old boys in order to teach English, but apparently I am not good enough.

Anonymous said...

add racist to hater.

see mongoloid comment.

Gap Kid said...

I can't be racist, I have a black friend and I once fucked an Indian girl.

Bet you feel like a dick now eh?

Anonymous said...

black like Collin Powell, Halle Berry, Conde Rice? and Indian like, like, oh somebody help me out here.

Gap Kid said...

No, my friend Mohammed is black like Louie Armstrong or Eddie Murphy ie. very black.

And the girl I fucked was Indian as a chicken rogan josh......and just as spicy.

BOOM BOOM!!

Anonymous said...

yeah, sure.

Anonymous said...

Seriously gap kid get a f'ing life man. You've never taught English in a foreign country. You’ve probably never even been to a foreign country. This is a blog related to teaching English, and banging foreign bitches. As a former ESL teacher I find this blog hilarious. The man x speaks nothing but the truth. You would know nothing of this; because I’m sure you have never left what ever little shit U.S. town you live in. Trolling random blogs? Seriously dude find a new pastime.


English Teacher J

Anonymous said...

Hey Kiev - I posted last month and you gave me some advice on where to teach in Ukraine. You mentioned International House as a reputable school. I'm considering working at their Odessa branch. What's the good word on that? Are they friend or foe? Thanks man!

Gap Kid said...

You flacid, rum-stained fools are so fucking dumb it should shock even you.

Perhaps the reason I have so much hatred for English Teachers is that I have been an ex-pat and seen how they operate.

Just a bunch of old, balding, alcoholic, shambling wrecks of humanity who take themselves too seriously.

So X, just how many chicks outside of poor, eastern-bloc mongoloids have you actually fucked in the last 10 years?

English Teacher X said...

You could ask your mom how many American chicks I've fucked recently, if she's back from pulling the late shift at the truck stop yet.

Gap Kid said...

I asked her.

She said you have fucked none, but a fair number of poor,hard-working, potato-munching, vodka supping, mongoloid featured bitches.

Gap Kid's Mom said...

Guess that makes me a mongoloid potato farmer then!

My son is a retard, and I apologize for him. He doesn't have any friends so he comes here to insult people he doesn't know, and feel empowered. He lives in the basement and has to sell sweaters to sorority girls all day, whilst knowing he can never have any of them.

Please be nice to him, he also has ADD.

English Teacher X has a big penis, by the way.

Gotta run, back to sucking dicks in the parking lot of the Denny's!

Jason said...

wow, X, you bring a lot of hatred in the world, good thing I don't give a shit! hahaah It's funny, Chick A (from my blog) thought that was funny because she also enjoyed my circumcision and didn't have a lot of experience with such a thing...

X's sister/wife said...

The first time X came into my room at night, I was eleven years old.

He whispered for me to keep quiet, that he wanted to show me something.

It hurt quite a bit, but I have to admit I enjoyed it.

We had sex many, many times after that. Now he is Uncle/Daddy to little Brutus T. Ass-Holio

X's father said...

WHAT!!!

She is my bitch X you little, fat fucker.

I was getting sloppy seconds...from my own son.

Urgh.

etx's psychiatrist said...

I remember when he first started talking to himself, we all thought it was just a fad. Then it got worse and worse. . . finally he left the country. Poor guy. . .

kiev said...

hah gap kid you try too hard, just accept your failure in life and move on, stop trying to make everyone as miserable as yourself -=x