Tuesday, October 23, 2007

And If A Frog Had Wings, It Wouldn't Bust Its Ass A'Hopping

Since I've cruelly severed the lifeline of people who wish to comment on this blog -- and damned if I'm not DIGGING the peace and quiet -- allow me to share some reader mail.

Guy sends me an email a few weeks ago which read, in part:

I have a good story for you. No, it isn't some anecdote about my experience teaching English. It's scarier than that. OK, here goes....I am actually planning on teaching English in Russia this coming year! Howabout that?! In fact, I just discovered your site the other day and I'm addicted to it. I wish there were more stories on Russia, as that is the country I am interested in. Guess I'll just have to re-read them. I'm planning on teaching in St. Petersburg. Are the women in big cities as whore-ish as they are in provincial Russia? Are any of the women sane over there?

I directed him to this blog for more stories specifically about Russia over the last few years.

He responded in somewhat of a panic:

Damnit English Teacher X! I wish I was a little bit older (or decided I wanted to do this a little bit earlier). Everytime I would read one of your "English Teacher X Stories" and saw you mention banging some girl, my heart would grow a little larger. Now, you seem to make it sound like girls over there don't want Americans anymore. Say it ain't so! Could you assauge my fears at all? I mean, I DID read in one of the reader comments from over the summer that some teacher's female students call him 'Bozha' (God) and that you he (or someone?) is treated like Ricky Martin. I guess it's easier in the provinces. But I want to do the whole St. Petersburg thing first. Fuckity, fuck, fuck. Thanks again for your time.

Here was my response, and this is my official position on the subject:

I have to say, it probably gets down to: do you do okay with the girls back where you came from? You'll probably do doubly or triply well here. If you don't, you'll probably do a bit better, but don't expect miracles.

I'm so happy I might even post a cleavage picture next time, stay tuned.


loco said...

Okay people. This a casting call to all talented, exciting, original writers out there.

Come post the diluted content of your minds on the


Post travel articles, stories, humourous asides, poems, short stories, mother fucking hollywoood epics.

This could be an epic thing dudes. I believe in the talent that I have seen flashes of.

Just follow the link in this message.

loco said...




Wayne said...

I dont think it matters where you go. If you are foreign, you are always going to have more opportunities. Its the same for a foreign guy going to small town in America. He is going to back his way through half the place before sunset.

Its easier to break the ice, it invokes curiosity in them and you are different. If you are a retard though, you are still going to struggle.

At least the dude was honest about his reasons for travel. As a single bloke, you travel for three main reasons. Eat their food, drink their beer and fuck their women.

Good to see you have managed to keep the idiots off here X. I may start visiting again more often

loco said...

I have just written and put a sonnet up on the Global Following blog.

I find it really useful as a tool for creative writing. Please let's see some of your work?