Monday, March 23, 2009

How Can I Leave This Behind? (The Big Announcement)


Almost nine years!

My god, talk about a drinking binge that got out of control. That's almost as much time as Tim Robbins was in Shawshank. Like more than 20 percent of my life!

I've seen teenage party girls become divorced single mothers. Streets full of wooden buildings are now massive glossy shopping centers. The country (and indeed the world) went from bust to boom to bust again.

I certainly never planned it this way. However, when I got here in summer of 2000, I was pretty burned out on moving around. This was my fifth city in my third country in two years, and since 1994, I'd visited several dozen others.

I wanted some continuity in my life.

I got a cat, and a DVD player . . . I still did not, however, think I would be staying more than a few years. But one thing happened after another -- in 2002 I was having too much fun to leave. In 2003 I started doing the online DELTA course, and that took me until 2006 to finish. Then they made me Director of Studies in 2007. . . a bit of an anti-climax, that, but never mind.

Through it all: girls, booze, girls, booze, girls, booze. . .

The drinking and carousing peaked in 2005 and 2006 with a lot of absinthe consumption; it cooled off quite a bit in 2007 and 2008. For good reason; the alcohol was taking its toll on everyone, and I was starting to do things like pee on the rug while I was blacked out. (Hardly the kind of thing James Bond would do.) And even if I caught a Russian hottie, I was generally too drunk to do much other than collapse unconscious.

As for the continuity in my life, that proved to be just as elusive for an English teacher standing still as for an English teacher moving. Every two years, I found I pretty much had a completely new set of girlfriends and colleagues. (Every two years I would talk about leaving, and every two years the females I knew would tell me not to go; two years later, those same females were inevitably either married, living in a different city, or both. It was never hard to find replacements, though.)

Anyway, two things are going to happen this summer: I'm going to turn 40. . .

and I'm going to go to Saudi Arabia to work.

It's a done deal. I signed the contract already, and informed my current employers that I'm going. Unless Pakistan nukes India, or something like that, I'm going. It's defo.

Yes, it's the money, but it's also that I sorely need some sort of perspective restored in my life. It seems to me that deprivation in the alcohol and women departments might renew my appreciation for them. (I find that even barely-legal Russian cootchie doesn't interest me much more than a good episode of THE SHIELD. Pretty much Sign #1 of Burnout.)

So it's been a hell of run, but finally, slowly but surely, it's coming to an end. . .

19 comments:

James said...

Wow you can't leave us you inspire us and keep real !

James said...

Will you keep blogging ?

English Teacher X said...

Shit, I'll probably blog a lot more, I'll have a lot less to do. . .

Petits Choux said...

Can you take the cat to Saudi?

Franco said...

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

PS Any topless of that chick in the pic?

Martin said...

Dude...you are not going to see any pussy in Saudi Arabia except on your DVD player! Are you prepared for that?..lol
Thanks for the pic btw, keep blogging!!!

yo_soy said...

3 weeks after I find your blog you tell us you're leaving! Damn. Still, it has confirmed that I want to give English teaching a bash, although maybe not in Russia.

I hope Saudi goes well for you. Enjoy the rest of your time in Russia.

Janice said...

holy shit dude...i was wondering when you were going to break;) it was sort of like watching a slow car wreck..anyway, sorry to hear about the saudi decision. Dont do it! there, thats all the advice your getting. I think the novelty of one of the most ass backwards cultures on earth will wear off quick..and your about to approx discover what its like to be black in the 1930s. I imagine the calander and the big black marker will be purchased by 45 at the latest. And WTF do you need money for? Your mortgage? Your just bored. go to Latin America instead..brown girls,warm,etc..try colombia. If you want money, get your teacher cert and live anywhere for Int school pay. anyway, your underrated blog has definately kept me out of a long term commitment to ESL...Viva la ETX!

Janice said...

Here, just to show you im not all snark, here's the link to the George Mason fast train program for international teachers. You can get your teacher cert in 2 semesters and for the experience part your placed in an Int school. And its relatively inexpensive. With your new IS pay, the loan should be no problem. Or maybe you could pay with your saudi savings. check it out:

http://fasttrain.gmu.edu/

good luck etx

Burden said...

X,

I think you're making the right decision. Sometimes we have to leave places. Life is about progress.

So move on to oil-rich bitches. Is the money real good?

There is plenty of Russian women in Saudi ... those towel-heads got to have them so white women; makes them feel better about themselves.

Burden said...

'I find that even barely-legal Russian cootchie doesn't interest me much more than a good episode of THE SHIELD. Pretty much Sign #1 of Burnout.'

Ha. I agree. Get to Saudi, save up some cash, dry-out, regroup and then the world is yours.

T.W.I.S.M as Antonio Montana read from the Blimp.

Franco said...

You should have waited until April 1st and had everyone guessing if it was true or not.

nb said...

Strange that you are going to Saudi as I, too, have applied to a Saudi school. Similarities had been drawn between your blog and my former blog in that drunken debauchery and fraternizing with the indigenous female population seem to be the main theme. Good luck to you. I'll bet you've already come to the conclusion that you'll need to get another teacher as a GF. Might be an easy adjustment for you, but I haven't had a white woman since the Chargers lost the super bowl (Go Chargers!).

The Saint said...

Hey ETX,

I've been a big fan for a long time now. Saudi will be worth it if it helps you clean up your act and save money, but I'm thinking you're problably going to spend all of your cash on moonshine and hate the place.

Mike Why said...

Seeing as how it's not April First I assume this isn't a joke. Well, good luck to you--the dry spell of no bootie and no hootch may indeed serve you well. Or send you packing back to Russia, vodka and young girls. :-)

Hopefully, you'll stick around in Saudi Arabia, earn some good money, have fun despite the lack of ass and booze, get things sorted and still find enough debauchery---or something better--to blog about. Congratulations on making the move to get out!

English Teacher X said...

The place I'm going is close to Bahrain, where supposedly chicks and booze are easier to get.

Burden said...

I contacted your new job, X, to tell them of your Jewish faith and that you would need special food - and could not work on Saturdays.

Mr. Bijmajid was very interested to find out this information. He will personally escort you from the airport to a special place they have for Jews.

How good is the money?

English Teacher X said...

It's about 4 - 5 times what I make here, let's put it that way.

The TEFL Tradesman said...

Oh dear.

So you volunteered to give Saudi a go. You even did so willingly.

Oh dear.

Oh fuck!