Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Five Pretty Unremarkable International Dating Claims

I don't read a lot of blogs in general - it's hard enough to keep up with my own - and I certainly don't read a lot of blogs about international sex tourism or love tourism or adventure dating or whatever you want to call it.

But having scanned a few, and having recently returned from Thailand, and having overheard / spoken to a few dudes who were overly impressed with themselves, let me point out a few things that people often think are pretty remarkable in their sexual adventures (especially but not exclusively) in SE Asia, that are in fact pretty fucking mundane:

1) The whores liked me so much, they fought over me! -- Believe me, hang around whores often enough,and you will find it more unusual if they DON'T fight over you. Whores are viciously possessive about their customers. But that's related to point two:

2) The whore didn't charge me! -- If I can quote William Burroughs, "Beware of whores that say they don't want money, for in the long run these are the most expensive whores that can be got."

It was a matter of common bar-punter wisdom in Thailand that you should ALWAYS pay the girls you fuck, even and especially when they offer you freebies, or you are setting yourself up for all manner of trouble, up to and including being stabbed in the dick. Cash on the barrel-head is a simple transaction, love is not.

3) I fucked a beauty queen! -- First of all, when a girl says she's a former or current beauty queen, that could mean anything, as those pageants are held daily in some countries (I'm looking at you, Philipines and Dominican Republic.)

Second of all, to win such contests, that means she probably had to fuck all the judges better than all the other girls in the contests, who also had to fuck all the judges.

 (One of my rich guys said that in the mid-00s in Russia, he and his rich friends would organize beauty pageants just so they could get a new crop of hot teenage babes from the villages to fuck.)

4) She cooked and cleaned for me! -- This is also related to #2 above. By the time the girl is cooking and cleaning for you, she's probably going to start getting possessive and expecting you to be the man of the house. So expect cooking and cleaning to be highly correllated with tears and threats, and possibly with getting stabbed in the dick.

5) She washed my feet! -- This is not so much a sign of boundless affection, as she thinks your hygiene is piss-poor. She cleaned your ears and your feet, and your balls?

Yes, because she thought they were yucky.


Anonymous said...

#6) Thread titles like: "Bozo invades Thailand"

#7) I banged 40 girls in 28 days in Colombia with zero Spanish

#8) Arranged 3-some with hot Ukrainian girls on 2nd in country

#9) Arranged above using only Google translate

#10) A pocket square for your suit jacket is a game-changer for slaying pussy

englishteacherx said...

There's an author named Christopher G Moore who writes novels about Bangkok and Thailand, and in one of them a character brags he'd had sex with more than 500 women in Thailand, and someone says, "that's an impressive number, unless you compare it to the number of men those women had sex with."

Anonymous said...

never been to SEA, but i would assume, based on living in E. Asia, that that quote wouldn't apply. It reeks of American pussy worship...a stunted man writing a novel of things he knows not. These hipster fools should stick to the hostel.

englishteacherx said...

Christopher G. Moore has lived in Thailand for over 30 years and is in his 60s now, he's pretty fucking far from a young hipster.


And your experience in E. Asia telling you what about Asian women? That they only like you, and no other white men?