Sunday, September 17, 2006

The Golden Age of Staying Home

I tell you -- I honestly can't understand why anyone would travel of their own free will in this day and age. Okay, well, business and whatnot, topping off the war chests, that I understand. But why would ANYONE willingly subject themselves to modern-day travel, which is something similiar to being trapped in a shopping mall for endless, indefinite amounts of time, except that you're subject to cavity searches and being ripped to pieces by bombs?

I mean, I did most of my travelling in the 90's -- it was still stupid then, granted, but at least then there were a few pluses --

1) People in other countries still liked Americans
2) There were still places in the third-world where accomodation and food was really cheap.
3) There were no internet booking agencies, and no Expedia and no Easyjet, so it took at least a slight modicum of gumption to go somewhere -- you needed to actually go around a city looking for a room and stuff, at least. Now any moron with a few hundred bucks can do it, no matter how basically unadventurous they are. . .
4) Tourist nightclubs, hotels, trains, buses and planes were not randomly and routinely blown up by Al-Queida
5) Going through an airport did not involve a background check and a CAT scan
6) There were no STARBUCKS coffee shops, anywhere in the world except America.

VISIT NOWHERE YEAR 2006!

3 comments:

wildchild said...

I thought the first paragraph was brilliant. Kinda went downhill from there. Since when was Al-Quaida routinely blowing up hotels and PLANES? You call once in 5 years a routine?

Anyway, keep up the good work!
Cheers.

English Teacher X said...

Well, once every five years could be a routine, now couldn't it? Of course, they didn't manage to blow up the planes with shampoo and contact lens solution, the last time they tried, but that should count.

Anonymous said...

So:Russian Airplanes have been dropping out of the skies/skidding off runways without any help from Ali Qaida and his humourless morons.100's of dead. Negligence will always win out over belligerence.All doing their little bit to discourage travel: Does it stop us? No way!
I salut those russians doing their bit to put us off useless trips.
The Duke of Wellington observed that the invention of the railways would only encourage the lower orders to move around unncessisarily, and the old hook nosed psycho was right. Slaqdog