This Is What It's All Come To. . .

I was out with one of my female friends the other night, who we affectionately refer to as "Looney Tunes." She's been diagnosed as both schizophrenic and austistic, but I think that's just lazy diagnosing -- she's just wacky, that's all. She makes me laugh, which is all I really ask of anybody.

She's 22, but she, unlike most Russian girls, never wears high heels, too much makeup, short skirts, or leopard-skin tops with push-up bras, so she looks a lot younger.

We went to a bar near my house last Saturday to have a few drinks. I was rather hungover so I sat quietly and watched the scene while she flitted around like a hummingbird, talking to everybody she knew.

Later she came back: "If anybody asks you, tell them I'm 15 and you're my father. I've been telling everybody that."

I said, "Okay."



This is a picture of her imitating the little ghost girl from "The Ring."