Dear God, People Actually READ This Shit?

My god, 18 fucking responses. . . I had a whole post thought out, but I'm so fucking flabbergasted by the responses to my last two entries, I think I forgot it all. Hateful posts from a guy that works at the GAP? Jesus Christ. I'd boycott the Gap, if there was one here. And that one from the 29-year-old office guy, holy shit. . .

Anyway, you've all convinced me. I'm counting my fucking blessings, here.

Trying to remember what I wanted to post about. . . oh yeah, it was about getting laid. Contrary to popular belief, I have to say that being a foreigner in another country is NOT an automatic route to easily laying loads of hot chicks. (I mean, unless you flat out pay for it, of course, but you can do that anywhere.) I know at least two teachers here who rarely if ever manage it; nothing seriously wrong with either of them, they're just average looking guys who are a bit shy and awkward around women.

I've gone out with some pretty hot-looking girls here (although admittedly some real trollops, too) but I managed plenty of good-looking girls in America, too. (Although keeping them was more of a problem, and finding ones who weren't clinically insane.)

As for this constant theme of balding and fatness, you GAP guy, -- believe it or not, 38 years old and still got almost all of my hair and a reasonably trim and muscular 180 pounds (I'm about 6'0.) There's a little beer blubber on my sides, admittedly, but I go to the gym three or four times a week and can still do an eight-minute mile. I'm not the worst looking kitten in the basket.

It seems to me that most guys end up banging girls who probably don't look much better or worse than the caliber of babe they could score at home -- although perhaps they do it more often. It seems to me that guys go through the motions of meeting women a lot more frequently and confidently here than they probably actually would at home. They actually go to bars and actually talking to women, for example, instead of just sitting and staring at them and bitching.

A humorous example -- one new guy who arrived here said he came because of the women, and that he was "sick of American women because all they're interested in is money." We immediately crapped ourselves laughing.

I should also add that guys who come here who aren't particularly clear-headed about what they want from women end up getting married to the first girl that gets ahold of them. And usually having a child with them. And nobody can henpeck like a Russian woman. . . I know, let's see, of the twenty or so foreigners I've known here in the last five years, about five have ended up married.

One thing is that there's a lot less stigma about girls going out with older guys in Russia, so that's handy. Of course, one reason I rarely go out with women older than 23 is that they're usually all married by that age. (All the girls I knew five years ago are married now.) You meet older divorced women occasionally, but not often, because they're too busy with the job and kids.

Now of course, being the sensitive and intelligent guy that I am, I have often accused girls I know of liking me only because I'm a foreigner, when drunk and angry. There were cases where it was surely true, but they see pretty quick that I'm neither looking for marriage nor do I have any money, so those ones are weeded out fairly quickly. The free English lesson factor is a bit more tricky -- as one of my English groupies pointed out, a lot of girls like to go out with teachers -- she'd been banging one of her university professors when I met her.

I was talking with a girl I've been going out recently, and I asked her whether she thought she'd actually be going out with me if I was a Russian guy of exactly the same salary level, job, age, appearance and personality. She said it was like asking if I'd like her if she was fat. And that if I was a Russian guy, I wouldn't have the same personality, anyway.

In the other countries I've been in, the situation was similarly complicated. In Thailand, you pretty much had two choices -- marry a nice girl, or fuck whores. In Korea there was a small contingent of English groupies who'd like to have sex with a foreign guy, but a considerably higher number who'd never consider going out with a white guy. In Prague, the girls were generally not too impressed by foreigners, as there were a lot of them.

Okay, off to stack our new 29.99 relaxed fit chinos. . . oh wait, no. I'm going to go sit for 90 minutes and talk to an attractive professional woman, and get paid for it.

And yes, I was drunk on the beach, surrounded by Slavic beauties, from Friday afternoon at about 2:00pm until Sunday evening at about nine. . .