One thing about living in Russia for as long as I have; you pretty much get over being nervous and tongue tied around hot chicks. There are so many, and you're around them so often, you build up a tolerance.
Funny the little things that can set you off though -- I THOUGHT I had developed an immunity to batted eyelashes, well-displayed cleavage and tossed hair and all that. Today after class one of my students stayed behind to ask me some questions about translation from her university course. She's a typical one -- face not much, but great body, see-through tops and tight jeans and spike heels and all that. (In short, like all the slutty girls from high school I regret I never had sex with.)
She asked me for some synonyms for "build" and I wrote down "construct" and "manufacture" and "erect."
"Yeah," she said, standing closer to me than the girl in that song by the Police, "erect. Erect. That's the one I want."
My tongue knotted and my prostate clenched and twenty-odd years of experience with women evaporated.
"Could I use that word in, for example, news broadcasts?" she asked sweetly.
B-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-duh-duh-duh
"Yeah," I said, shyly. "Uh, it, uh, depends on the context. . ."
"Yes, I think that's the word I was looking for," she said, smiling. "Erect."
I got so rattled I left my backpack full of books behind when I left the class.
1 comment:
By "use on broadcasts" she meant in her acceptance speech at the Woodys - the Adult Entertainment Awards. Clever girl.
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