Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Ballroom Dancer Returns: Pregnancy Tourism

So many of you readers probably are going through (or have gone through) that phase where it seems that all of your friends are getting married and / or having babies.

Since I spent my 30s mostly hanging around with people 10 - 15 years younger than me in Russia, I'm now (at 44) going through that phase for the second time; most of the people from VODKABERG are spawning like salmon recently.

Almond Eyes just had a baby last week; I contacted Ballroom Dancer on Facebook the other day and she revealed she's also expecting.

So read this and  check out WHERE she's going to have the baby ...

Ballroom Dancer circa 2006

(This is a link to the last conversation I had with her in July; recall that she is working in the field of event management in Moscow.) 

1/7, 11:56pm
English Teacher X
I had a sex dream about you last night

1/7, 11:56pm
Ballroom Dancer
wow surprising)))


1/7, 11:56pm
English Teacher X
yeah, surprised me also


1/7, 11:57pm
Ballroom Dancer
))))


1/7, 11:57pm
English Teacher X
never know what's in the back of the brain


1/7, 11:57pm
Ballroom Dancer
you will be more surprised if i tell you that i look like kolobok))))))
cos im pregnant 7 month already


1/7, 11:57pm
English Teacher X
kolobok?


1/7, 11:57pm
Ballroom Dancer
))))


1/7, 11:57pm
English Teacher X
oh really?
well congratulations


1/7, 11:58pm
Ballroom Dancer
thanks)

1/7, 11:58pm
English Teacher X
what does koloblok mean?

1/7, 11:58pm
Ballroom Dancer
its a hero of russian fairy

1/7, 11:58pm
English Teacher X
so you were pregnant the last time I talked to you and you didn't know it yet


1/7, 11:59pm
Ballroom Dancer
round small... i dont know who....kolobok)

1/7, 11:59pm
English Teacher X
i can only imagine how huge your breasts must be


1/8, 12:00am
Ballroom Dancer


its looks the same more or less)))
but the belly..... bigger then breast

1/8, 12:01am
English Teacher X
right


1/8, 12:01am
Ballroom Dancer
and its scare me
sometimes)))


1/8, 12:01am
English Teacher X
well it's just hormones, making you feel strange emotions, I suppose


1/8, 12:01am
Ballroom Dancer
how are you?


1/8, 12:02am
English Teacher X
i'm rather terrible, in general


1/8, 12:02am
Ballroom Dancer
im not a real mother)))


1/8, 12:02am
English Teacher X
you are the most natural mother I can imagine!


1/8, 12:02am
Ballroom Dancer
??
tell me

1/8, 12:02am
English Teacher X
you always were.

1/8, 12:02am
Ballroom Dancer
))


1/8, 12:02am
English Teacher X
unless you changed a lot!


1/8, 12:03am
Ballroom Dancer
im fine with myself, this is the best my achievement
tell me about you


1/8, 12:03am
English Teacher X
sure

1/8, 12:03am
Ballroom Dancer
where are you today?


1/8, 12:03am
English Teacher X
oh I came back to (the Kingdom in the Middle East) 
but it's a terrible job, although salary is very high
I get paid $8000 a month to stand in front of classes of boys from country while they refuse to study 

1/8, 12:05am
Ballroom Dancer
difficult situation with class, but salary has to smooth it)

1/8, 12:05am
English Teacher X
well, i live in terrible place, you can see pictures on here somewhere
it's not even a real house
like a camp

1/8, 12:06am
Ballroom Dancer
can you change it?

1/8, 12:06am
English Teacher X
this city is awful also, nothing here, although there is a beach nearby
but I can go to Dubai and Bahrain to have fun on the weekends, so I suppose I should not complain


1/8, 12:07am
Ballroom Dancer
oh yeah


1/8, 12:07am
English Teacher X
taking the girl to Maldives in February, maybe we will make some decision. But I don't think so

What makes me angry, i turned down a job in Dubai to take this job, because I thought it would be more professional because it's a big international company
but it's worst job I ever had
students are all company firemen and security guards who have to study English they don't need
But anyway, only 6 more months and I'm finished


1/8, 12:10am
Ballroom Dancer
maybe then you will move to dubai? i think its one of the best places for live and work
i dont mind to move there)

1/8, 12:12am
English Teacher X
yeah, I will try to get job there in the fall, I suppose
i have two friends who work there, but they were not very happy with their jobs, but they like living there
I wish I had taken that job, salary is less but I could have more life


1/8, 12:13am
Ballroom Dancer
at least you can teach students who need english)))


1/8, 12:13am
English Teacher X
they said it's same problem there, all the students are rich kids, they don't care about it also
my students aren't rich though


1/8, 12:14am
Ballroom Dancer
strange. usially when l meet the local men there they speak english


1/8, 12:15am
English Teacher X
well see, anybody that wants to study English they can go to England or whatever and learn it
they said most of the students there are women and they don't care about it
All Emirates people get money from government just for being Emiratis, so they can do whatever they want


1/8, 12:16am
Ballroom Dancer
ah i see
and you should be careful with local woman


1/8, 12:16am
English Teacher X
it would be nice to teach woman again


1/8, 12:16am
Ballroom Dancer
)))))
sure


1/8, 12:16am
English Teacher X
i'm tired of these country boys
they take off their shoes in class, they hate even to wear shoes

1/8, 12:17am
Ballroom Dancer
are they rude?


1/8, 12:18am
English Teacher X
oh they're terrible

1/8, 12:20am
Ballroom Dancer
i bet you want to whip them all))))))

1/8, 12:21am
English Teacher X
i just want them to go away
the government just doesn't want them running around the streets, so they give them jobs for the state oil company
there's big demographic problem here, too many young guys
(and girls, I guess, but I don't see them)


1/8, 12:23am
Ballroom Dancer
of course)


1/8, 12:25am
English Teacher X





1/8, 12:25am
English Teacher X
this is where I live

1/8, 12:26am
Ballroom Dancer
why dont you rent something more nice?????


1/8, 12:26am
English Teacher X
well, I could, but then I would have to buy furniture
want to get out quickly
also there's a pool here, I like that

1/8, 12:27am
Ballroom Dancer
)))

English Teacher X
1/8, 12:27




1/8, 12:27am
Ballroom Dancer
)))


1/8, 12:28am
English Teacher X
and there's security also, big wall with guards


1/8, 12:28am
Ballroom Dancer
is it important?

1/8, 12:28am
English Teacher X
i dont know, probably not
also nice cheap restaurant here

1/8, 12:28am
Ballroom Dancer
just finish there and move to dubai

1/8, 12:29am
English Teacher X
I want to finish the contract because then I get bonus of more than one month's salary

1/8, 12:29am
Ballroom Dancer
nice deal


1/8, 12:29am
English Teacher X
even so, many guys can't finish it


1/8, 12:29am
Ballroom Dancer
i will try to go to miami for baby delivery in a week


1/8, 12:30am
English Teacher X
guy went crazy the other day, started screaming and crying, security guards had to take him away


1/8, 12:30am
Ballroom Dancer
God!!!

1/8, 12:30am
English Teacher X
did you already get american visa?
why not EU?

1/8, 12:30am
Ballroom Dancer
of course!)
want to have small american boy)))

1/8, 12:30am
English Teacher X
America is terrible place to live now
I visited (Slappy's Wife) there last summer, working as stripper
remember her?


1/8, 12:31am
Ballroom Dancer
we are not going to live there) just US passport
yeah, i remember

1/8, 12:31am
English Teacher X
but why do you need one, better to have EU passport


1/8, 12:31am
Ballroom Dancer
what a terrible story


1/8, 12:31am
English Teacher X
then you could go to America anyway
or Europe isn't so generous to Baby Tourists?


1/8, 12:32am
Ballroom Dancer
whats wrong?
it is popular as well
but ive chosen good climate for next half of a year
want to be far from moscow and work


1/8, 12:33am
English Teacher X
Eh, I'd much rather live in Cyprus or Greece or somewhere
same kind of climate
I guess a lot of Russians like Miami though
it has its good points, I guess
plenty of Russians there now, especially in Hallandale Beach


1/8, 12:34am
Ballroom Dancer
oh its so popular, so many planes fly every day
miami custom is going crazy))))
thats the place im going to i guess

1/8, 12:35am
English Teacher X
(Slappy's Wife) doesn't live in Miami, but one of her friends lives there


1/8, 12:35am
Ballroom Dancer
but russian place is sunny isle

1/8, 12:35am
English Teacher X
fat and drunk and crazy now
yeah, sunny isle, that's where she lives
it's about 30 - 45 minutes from South Beach
maybe less
how long will you stay there/

1/8, 12:36am
Ballroom Dancer
until the end of June i guess


1/8, 12:37am
English Teacher X
who with?  not just you, surely. mom and dad?

1/8, 12:38am
Ballroom Dancer
mostly with dad. when the time for delivery husband and mom too. then i  dont know
may be along sometime
may be not
some friends want to come
i know some russian girls there as well

1/8, 12:41am
English Teacher X
have you been to America before?


1/8, 12:44am
Ballroom Dancer
of course
i even work 2 years ago there
planned the wedding

1/8, 12:45am
English Teacher X
in Miami?


1/8, 12:45am
Ballroom Dancer
in Newport, Road Island
but i travel a lot

1/8, 12:45am
English Teacher X
Rhode Island


1/8, 12:46am
Ballroom Dancer
NY, Boston, Miami, LA, Vegas, SFr
yes
)))
i wish i can go for party in Miami, but belly doesnt like it)))))))


1/8, 12:47am
English Teacher X
oh, well, yeah, nice strip clubs there

1/8, 12:47am
Ballroom Dancer
sorry not for me)))


1/8, 12:47am
English Teacher X
Went to Scarlett's Cabaret, you should have seen those girls , they were spinning around like Cirque De Soleil
except naked

1/8, 12:48am
Ballroom Dancer
)))))


1/8, 12:50am
English Teacher X
all right, I'm going for shower, and you should be sleeping anyway
good luck with it! I'm only a facebook away if you need anything

1/8, 12:51am
Ballroom Dancer
thank you my darling. you are in my heart! if you will have a chance ill be waiting for you in Miami)


1/8, 12:52am
English Teacher X
hmm, well, unfortunately I'll be here until July
the end of July
most likely be in America all of August


1/8, 12:53am
Ballroom Dancer
ill see you in dubai then)))
next year
i love to come there

1/8, 12:53am
English Teacher X
i might well be in moscow or samara for a while in the fall
anyway, paka


1/8, 12:54am
Ballroom Dancer
poka!

*  *  *

So there you go. For every disenfranchised spoiled white American college kid who goes abroad to get a crappy English teaching job, move into a crappy apartment, and bang himself into oblivion, there is one serious-minded Russian, Brazilian or Chinese ready to have a baby there to take your place, get your steady boring corporate job, and get that mortgage and car you don't want.

Thus is equilibrium maintained. Globalism works all ways, baby.





7 comments:

Anonymous said...

She must be loaded if she can afford the American medical system.

English Teacher X said...

Yeah, she comes from a wealthy family, although I think she does pretty well in even management too. I assume insurance of some sort is included in the "pregnancy tourism" package.

brian said...

I went to college in Miami, and the growth of the Russian community in the locales above is staggering. All the good strippers at (the recently closed) Club Madonna and Miami Gold are all Eastern European. Wasn't the case from 94 to 97 when I went to FIU.

Anonymous said...

Dude, you lived in Russia how long and you don't know who kolobok is? :)

Felix Krull said...

Dear X,
You said: "I get paid $8000 a month to stand in front of classes of boys from country while they refuse to study". Well, you had me at "$8000 a month". Actually, just at "I get paid" (because many times, I didn't).


So, I went to the relevant sections of major news papers, to ELT job sites and more, but couldn't find salaries like that anywhere in the Kingdom. So, how did you manage it and where the hell can I sign up? (...oh, and how much less is a more user friendly location like Dubai going to pay?).

Anonymous said...

Contact info in the "Who Is English Teacher X" tab - drop me an email or something. Remember you have to have at least a BA plus CELTA to get a job in the ME. Dubai pays in the $4000 - $5000 a month range, as do university and college jobs in the Kingdom.

Felix Krull said...

You rock ETX!

I'll drop a line.